Sing Terry
You guys have to help me I'm making a secret guest
You're yelling so loud that it's picking up in every single night. It's so bad
I need a secret guest to introduce you first
That's how it works. All right, you can't just oh my god
Speaking shut up shut up shut up. Oh by the way, we have a special guest named Tyler. How you doing?
This is this is for Tyler. Oh, this is intro song
This is an intro song. All right, Tyler. We're gonna we have a special guest his name is Tyler, but it hears his intro song
It has my name all over
My lonely days are over
All right, that's for you Tyler. That's your old or like that's a definitely old song sounds old
At a James like from your childhood, right? How dare you how dare you?
From my childhood, I think in you guys 60s for the caption dude. It's dude. It was released in the 60
1960
64 years old you going through kindergarten around that time
Yeah, cuz I'm I'm that old you guys like this song. I do like that
I actually was just about to like add it to a playlist. It's kind of you never heard this before kind of hits
You never heard this I've heard a lot of songs that sound like this
This one is a classic though. I just you know, I've been saying this for a while now, but older music
It's the best music older things and you like older cars
Like look better older buildings look better
I would say if we could if we can get older cars in the safety ratings that we have now
Oh for sure and not not have a fucking pretty much just a
hunk of metal
Just destroy your body because it's gonna crumble old cars were like tanks, right?
Did I have old cars didn't crumble like they knew cars would as end to crumble old cars
Well, the new cars like the engine will drop out when you hit another car
Yeah, new car old cars because they have a chassis that's supposed to be old cars
We're just big hunks of steel and they would just slam into shit
And then your body the die and then your body absorbs all the impact force, right?
I remember in some ways is protecting you from like
Shit, but in other ways the impact forces are I would say what I would want is I would drive the tank
But I want like the air bank the airbag system in my car
Well, I would want to use my old car. I want to eject from every car
I want to mount a turret on top of my old car. That's her and why I drive it around why a turret
We'll picture this okay picture got an old car
Yes, it's being pulled by four horses
Wait, and then you hunk of metal car old hunk of metal car and the engine is not in it
Is not a lot of horses. Okay, and you got a turret on there. Okay, think of how many Iraqis you could kill, okay?
Can you think of a good tear I don't know why you just said that
So can you think of a good post caption on what I'm making a post
What's it about? Oh, just pictures from the weekend post
Yeah, can I see yeah if you tell me a good caption
I'll post it and then you can see it to bros hanging out. No, that's stupid
So I was it's pictures from me hanging out with my bro and me hanging out with my other friend who's a girl
To cause I was about to say the boys, but then that'd be funny. Maybe
Hey, hey, I'm with the boys hanging with the boys and then like it's not and it's be oh I
The boy any other more creative one. I was gonna say two boys one girl, but that's kind of weird
Oh, there's a great part of a stand-up clip from an Estonian dude an Estonian dude. Yeah, you're way
Goes where he goes. Oh, just hang out the boys in one later with the girl. No, no, no, he does it so funny
Wait, who's making why are you making a post for I really want to know I'll show you okay?
Cool, I can't you can think of a good caption for it
the F1 weekend
That's kind of good actually
F1 weekend
Kind of creative too. Hey, it's not even an F1 weekend, but sure
Shit, that's that's your F1 weekend man. That's right
That's it right Mike. Yeah, see what did I do? There's no F1 this weekend
There's not but we wouldn't explore like the bunkers down in Fort Warden
You know, yeah, those are fun. Those are fun. There's actually a I have a alright. Here's here's the funny thing
Okay, I guess we're getting interrupted. How do I interrupt this broadcast for an important?
Here's the boy here's where he says so when I say when I say the boys, this is what I mean
Listen and think to yourself must be nice
You know just to be like
Fuck it because if you're like a working-class asshole like us life keeps fucking me up my ass
Every year I gotta make more room in my asshole
Government to fit
There
inflation
Price of gas what's happening in Gaza?
Is Joe Biden a lizard?
And then you look at the homeless dudes just chilling with the boys
Give a fuck who's president you see some pretty lady go by you already know you're not gonna fuck her
Might as well pull your dick out
You ever
Parry says killing with the boys might as well pull your dick out
That's actually pretty true
In a way if you're homeless you just don't give a fuck about what's going on. Yeah, you just chillin with the boys
Boys and your hungry and you're hungry
And also that
What did I interrupt oh?
I'm trying to get a good I broke your post caption you broke my pillow. I
Broke your flow
You're an engineer engineer me something wait is now
You're an engineer engineer me something
Oh
I want something freaky too because he's he's asking you to write like I'm dressed like
Writing you just draw a lot
Why you so looking for a title? Yeah, the boys is not a good enough one
Just as boys, you know, it's like two girls in this post and one boy good point aside from myself
Good point just say like this is like my f1 weekend, bro. Shut the fuck up. That has nothing to do with anyone
I did the caption stupid the caption is fucking stupid anyway. It's true and like I could get away with it
What it'd be funny. Yeah, why not? I need something like number one people number one weekend
And that sounds like I'm either like gay
Or a woman and I'm neither of those things. That's only cuz I said it that way. No, no, no, no matter how you said that
It translates to that voice. You know, just see just try saying it
Guarantee you'll come through that's in the same voice. Oh
Wait, hey number one you could say this
Listen so he said it and he thought it was different, but you know what Terry and I both heard
Yeah, even though you thought you said it different
I would say what if you said hang out with my two best girls and then my brother
No, that's just saying what you were doing. You have to be clever. Yeah, that is not being clever. Wait, why don't we just
Have an idea. Why would you just generate something for him? I already tried that chat you bet he sucks
Here's you go. Here you go. Just make it call it at last
With exclamation mark at last. Yeah, don't you fucking remember? Yeah, the song. You're your intro song
Yes
Yeah, but extended that way I could add the song to the post. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I
Don't know if that's the vibe guys
Well videos in the post to that are kind of funny and you can't put music this this pictures of your sister and your friend and me
You're not in the post
Do you want to be in the post? I thought you said you were hanging out with me and you had pictures of our friendship
No, I have pictures with me in Travis. Oh
Oh, do you want a picture? Wait, who are you? I got a picture of this podcast to it. Don't put a picture of me on the internet
Who is you wanted it? You just know I was a little sparkle
I thought I thought you had done it without my consent and you were gonna go along with it. Maybe who were the people?
For Travis, Holly Olivia. Okay, so everything I said was correct except minus me plus Travis. Yeah, okay
So it can't be since it has your sister it can't be about
Like this
I guess well, it would all be platonic
My love has come along my lonely days are over and life is like a song. Oh, yeah, yeah
At last those guys above our blue my heart was wrapped up in clover the night I looked at you
Hey, it's not the right way. Here we go. Just look at song lyrics
Okay, you'll find me a song. Give me a song. What should what song should we look up?
Let's do this. Let's do this. Oh
Look at the new licking Park song
Oh, yeah, they got a new lead singer dude. It's a good song when they released the lady. Yeah, just
She's just pretty good. See I was afraid that all their new music was gonna sound like a Lincoln Park with a cover
Like a cover of Lincoln Park
You know what I mean? Yeah, actually sounds pretty good emptiness machine. You know to play
And look at the lyrics
Well, it's kind of like they always come out with something different every time they come out with an album
They're really good at it. How about that flashing your favorite point of view?
That's pretty good
I'm guessing that he's
Reading
There you go that
Oh, how he got a big cut in her knee yesterday, it's perfect wait a big I'll get bled. Yeah, that's perfect
Then nobody's gonna get me. I know I agree with you
You gotta hit look keep playing it. It kind of hits
I'm trying to play less copyrighted music on the show. Yeah, we're getting flagged. No, I don't care
I
About this falling for a promise empty why just called emptiness machine
Because Lincoln Park released a song the same weekend I made the post because there's a fire under the altar
What about under my skin?
Man, it's a lot of cutting and bleeding this song
That's pretty dark
Why does it have to have a title you need like something can you words?
Can you explain this a little more for someone like me who's illiterate when it comes to modern social media?
And I generally despise this as well, but I'm trying to post on what now Instagram
So you do like ten pictures or something in a like a group. Yeah
Through them, okay, and then you do a little caption. Okay, some people do hashtags. I'm not really
That's it and then you can like stop stop. That's your title some people do hashtags. That's it
You said it not me that's great though. Some people
Some people do has just that leave it at that
Yeah, that's a great
You know this but that's exactly the kind of shit we do for titles on this podcast
Yeah, it just completely random someone says something that's good. It's too long though
Is it you think so some people do hashtags that fiber hashtag or
Hashtags one word some people do hashtags
I like chilling with the boys, but I'll write it down
I'll write it down. That's another talking about all right it down
This is how you create a genius some people do hashtag and then hashtags
I could do a hashtag at the bottom hashtag
Hashtags and people do hashtags
Some people do hashtags
I should have some people wait so like hear me out here. Oh
Oh, Mike, can you queue up something? I want people to hear it though
There are fewer than 100 posts with that hashtag in the world
What was that a thing you it tells you how many other
So like if you'd hashtag love it'd be like a billion. Yeah, okay, and it would say that mm-hmm
Wow, you want to see how many let's do hashtag love well centralized social media is a scam don't use it
All right, so I said my piece go ahead hashtag love
2.1 billion posts
Man, are we now are we doing that? Yeah, we're just playing songs Terry. Yeah, just queue it up
Did you text it to me earlier? No, I just did it now. I just I just did it on there
I just didn't want to send and send unless you know didn't you just sent me a thing
Yeah, that's a good song that but it's a different song
You know what I just told you to play. Yeah, it's a sports theme song and it's not this and it's not that okay
Can you actually tell me it then I didn't see oh is it something I can find in title?
No, I don't think so
Okay, what's the what's the new season? What's the new sports season that's going on right now?
The new sports season. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah pigskin. Oh
Like the season just yeah, yeah, yeah play the song
Why because I want you to
Like how you cut me out don't put me on the internet you put me on the internet
Don't take a picture of this room on the internet do it
Seriously don't all right then I
Think Tyler I want our happy weekend friendship to just be between us. Okay, the world doesn't need to know
Tyler Tyler hey Tyler
Tyler you know what what we're enough we are you're right our our barn
Our bond is a good one. We're enough
I'm a fucking fucking genius and I switch your father
Thanks. Yeah, where'd you get it?
Thanks to the beach beach beach. Let's go to the beach beach. Let's go in a way
Okay, what are we doing Terry put a fucking NFL song NFL song? Jesus? Why is why why why?
Because it's starting it started today who fucking cares some people do
Let's let it rip for the enjoyable of the further peoples
Just play it once this it. I don't know
Yep
Why are we doing this footballs back baby?
Here we go
16 weeks of the regular season actually it's I think it's 17
17 weeks of the regular season
We are back. We're gonna watch all your teams destroy other teams and all your other teams that you don't like
Beat your team and then you get mad at them
Apparently it is. It's back. All right plug our shit. Terry. We got to do at the top of the hour
Oh, yeah, my bad because we're not you know that far in and people are gonna lose you connected to everything
Hey, I just want you to know
Whoa, hey, go ahead accept this
Wait, wait, where you sending to me? Does you're connected? No, he's connected
For your president for there's no audience you just fuck that up. That's fine
You just started by saying for your president. Yeah for your president. You're such an R word
Can I not make myself? No, you are nominated on there. Okay, you're not but they're just
You're just guessed dude all vote for myself
You know you can't rules if you vote now you know the since you're in this room now
You can't do it. You can't do anything. We're about to show you
Gotcha, but you are rules, but you what you are rules?
No
I'm about to take a wet shit
Again during the middle podcast probably that's fine. That's fine. He goes probably all right
We have a straw poll for the president of there's no audience there's me
Terry versus Mike versus guests
It ends in 58 days and 13 hours
obviously you guys are doing a great job by
Not voting which is great. Which means we don't have any check the description check the description people and click the link
It's a straw poll link. Please vote. It is a straw poll even if we just get one vote would it be nice Tyler?
That means you can not go to the straw poll and vote. Okay, wait, so guests. That's me. Yes, you are a guest
So we're ending it when the presidential election happened
We are plugging ourselves and I fight for the people Mike just fights for more tariffs
His tariff is taking away my
Yeah buttons. I'm pro pro buttons Terry's anti buttons. That's not true
I'm I'm all about the buttons. Yeah. Yeah, if you have to shit you can go shit. I don't need to yet
Okay, I feel it coming. Yeah, is it gonna do this alone? This is gonna what's gonna happen to you?
Terry sorry
Or hold on I
Need a look because I think like what do I stand for? Well? Yeah, what do you stand for?
What do you stand for the people? It's a good question. Does this make you want to shit more or less?
Did you see that
Did you see it?
This is for drew man
I was expecting like
That's for drew man. It's like a cross between some weird internet. What's it like? It's like it was like a
What's the thing that's on your computer with all about the farting and shitting noises the clip? Yeah, the sound clip the sound clip
Yeah, there's one in there Pacific is specifically for if this is how you're feeling
So we're gonna Mike's gonna play these sounds and you tell us which sounds you might think come out your ass
Why you take a shit in a second? I want everybody to reflect real quick and just think to yourself. Yeah, go ahead
What sounds come out of your ass?
sometimes as good to
Honestly when I take a shit nothing really comes out unless I have like diarrhea or
Like I'm shooting shotguns or like a machine gun on my butt. Gotcha
You know I'm saying like you probably might have that in like five minutes
You know, it's really not that bad. You don't think so really like I'm low-end
You know how like wait, I guess you wouldn't know like when I drink too much and I like drink too much beer
I have really bad shit. Okay, and it's like it's like
I'm just watching his face watching his face at the end go from just like nothing to like
The smile you ever done this Tyler? It's never been so like ASMR in my in my face
Wait, don't you have yours?
Is that on my computer? I think it's on your computer. I think I can get it on my computer
Oh, yeah, all my shit for my phone just dumps on the mice server. Yeah, I can find it there
Stand by please standing by
What's it? Well, it's a video, but it doesn't actually have any
Didn't you send it to me? I think I just played it on here
Man you're really into that song aren't you it's pretty good
I didn't like it the first time I heard it
But a lot of a lot of things happen like that the Lincoln Park song. Yeah, it's like it's like old Lincoln Park
I have to listen to it all. I haven't even listened to it all the way through like pretty solid
I
It gives me like old timey vibes like the last I was very like pop and I thought they were gonna keep doing that
But this is like they're trying to go back to what they used to be good at it's gonna be hard because
Don't get me wrong
She's doing great. She sounds great. Yeah, but it's no Chester true
It's no Chester. Which is why they're having the other guys sing a lot in it Michael Mike. I love my son. Oh, yeah, here you go
There's it's not a video. It's just the audio only but you can look at my feet
Who wait the fuck this is you
Oh, I can I can turn it up. Wait, you never seen that video. No
Is it it's meant for audio capture only gotcha. Yeah, so what we're trying to have people do is not people
That was a bad day for you her
I was a very uncomfortable moment
You know we were talking about giving birth earlier you get birthed that shit
Yeah, I mean Tyler we're talking about like how crazy it is to give birth. It's just insane. Yeah, dude
some fucking thing that is
Alive alive inside you are feeding off of like a
In what are they called?
A bet local cord and then bellicose cord that you're eating for two people. Well, we aren't but women are and then
Just but we talked about it and we decided that we wouldn't want to obviously because we're dudes
But like for a woman it's like part of her DNA. So yeah, they don't have the same level of
Repulsion my god, that's crazy. Yeah, they're like, oh, that's I just had that I just had can you go on there and play
I think it's Ken's little marr DNA. I just had that thing when you said DNA. Yep, cool
Yeah, that's it
I'm starting to like Kendrick Lamar more. Yeah starting to yeah
Try looking up a song to stifle imperial progression
What?
It's a song to stifle imperial progression
Stifle that should do it. Yeah, did you hear about a had a friend sent me this like this four months ago? They used
Look at the lyrics for like cut means of pieces and shit
Yeah used is like a like a
Yeah, just me dude
If you want
This is just like like
propaganda for music
like America
This is if you really want to know something look up anti flag you just
I get it. Yeah, that's a flag anti flag
Can you tell me who sings it anti flag what's the band called anti flag is the song name
What's the song name? Just just go into anti flags like page and just look at their shit the press cord
Like drink drink palm. This is the end died for the government. I forgot what like their biggest songs were
Look
I got a guy for your government die for your country that shit. It's like a punk rock band. It sounds like a good day
It's a punk rock. You're right. You're right. You're right
Okay, great
What are we doing here folks? We're just pulling out there like a million songs like that anti government shit
Yeah, I think that's what oh did you hear about like?
Yes, the starliner
It's finally coming back. You're fucking you're jumping the gun Terry. I got a whole fucking. Oh my bad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
I'm sorry. We can talk about it. No, it's cool
Actually what I can
Hey, Terry, hey, Terry, man, if you know, this is my beat
You know, this is my I know, but I don't want to step over. I don't want to step any more over the line
You know, I'm saying if it's your shit actually, I do want to bring up something before we talk about your starliner
Can you go to my videos? Yeah, I want you to play
The one on the left
This is a PSA for
Owners including yourself car owners. Yeah Maverick owners, but mostly is it a Maverick? No, but mostly for Ford
Yeah, mostly for Ford's bad news from Ford today is the company wait. That's how it starts bad news from Ford today is
Yeah, yeah, hey Mike, I'm bad news for today. Okay, ready the company may have to replace over
90,000 engines due to a potential failure. Let's go follow up
according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration or the NHTS a Ford and Lincoln are recalling
90,736 vehicles that come equipped with the turbocharged
I have two recalls on my truck
Haven't gotten fixed really they keep bugging me about it 2.7 liter and 3 liter eco boost. I don't have a there those
That's fine. You never know
Are they gonna think mine's two liter four cylinder eco boosts?
These engines and the affected vehicles may contain intake valves that have a propensity to crack and break
I'm just saying I'm giving I'm giving the people a PSA and you because your eco boost engine might have this problem
They said 2.7 and 3.0 liter doesn't matter like the explorers and other vehicles doesn't fails mainly correct
But still it could happen to you, but it's not listed here. That's fine
catastrophic engine damage
Resulting in a loss of motor also kind of just say of all the things that are a risk to the to the person driving
This is not one of them all that will happen is your engine will blow up and you'll lose power
But it's not like the car is gonna blow up or something right? Oh power the vehicles affected by this recall include
2021 to 2022 models including 47,719 Ford F-150s
15,835
That's
47,000 it's like the the top-selling fucking truck in the country. That's not even a lot compared to how many are out there though
Yeah, like there's so many for this. So many of them. Yeah, I was in 262 explorers
2366 Ford edges
7199 Lincoln aviators and
5 Lincoln
That wasn't funny nice track
Ford is aware of 811 warranty claims with fractured intake valves
Letters to owners who are affected by the recall will begin going out starting October 7th
The others will need to inspect each vehicle. What's it? They just put in waiting so long. What do you mean?
What did they just put in the bed right there?
111 warranty claims with fractured intake valves
Letters to owners who are affected by the recall will begin going out starting
Oh putting a bolt in okay. I was like damn that truck is moving so fast. They just like quickly put the bolt in
7th deals will need to inspect each vehicle perform an engine cycle test and other just drilling into the chassis
No cost to the customer Ford will also reimburse any customers who paid out of pocket to repair the issue on their own
Oh wait pause that
That's gonna take forever
To get your money back. Yeah get money back from fucking Ford 100%
You think they're just gonna be like if I go up to you know a lot of people talk shit about Ford
But I've had nothing but good experiences
Seriously like all the way around tell me more like from buying my Ford all the way till I getting at service
Like I just had like no problems. Hmm. No complaints. How long did it take you to get your?
Your ranger Raptor, you know
Well that I mean that wasn't that that was just a pure supply and demand thing
That wasn't like a Ford thing does because of COVID no that was really on top of their shit
They would move the world that was because of a supply and demand that every manufacturer was dealing with that wasn't like a unique
To Ford problem your vehicle is affected by this recall. You can simply visit nhtsa.gov slash recalls
That's a piece of it. Thanks Terry. Thanks a lot for that. That's great. We're not just the clip
Yes, okay, Tyler's piss. He's like what the fuck I wanted something to blow up or I
Don't have any of that
Alright well these are just races now these are just the race recaps from
us Scott Tyler gotcha. Well, let's check those out later. Yeah, we can we don't have to play them
I said you're my funny video Mike. I believe you
It's pretty good too. Is it
You are you cruising for today's an unmanned spacecraft will be returning to earth landing here in the land of enchantment
And where it's landing at no one knows
Has a Tyler you don't you don't get to talk about this
Got it hey
Okay, that unique history news 13s Gabe Chavez has the story
Currently we're targeting this Friday September the 6th 6. Oh for Eastern. Oh, this should already landed on doc
I thought you knew it landed. I heard it that it got released. I didn't knew yeah, they were they
I'm such a fucking nerd dude. I watched it live
What time was it so say the clock in the morning I watched the undocked no
I watched it undocked on Friday at 3 p.m. Pacific so it undocked from the International Space Station
I watched that live and then it landed
Like they talked the cap it landed
right at
Was it 9 p.m. Pacific I think it was like midnight Eastern or something wait on Friday. Oh you watched it. Oh, it's on Friday. Okay. Yeah
So you stayed up and watch the whole thing. No, I just happened
They still be awake at 9 p.m. And was like, oh, I turned it on and like it was just landing
I didn't like try to land it peacefully. Yeah, I wanted to watch the undocking me
What is it was like a bunch of like fucking Martians like scrambling out of it like little
Bitch spiders, it'll be so fucking funny
It's like one of those videos where it says like they planted something inside of it and then like did you just say bitch spiders?
That's a great show title
Thank you a
Bunch of Martians scrambling out of it
So here we go
So it this is after actually a little bit of background for you Tyler
This this Starliner spacecraft is a competitor to SpaceX and this is that was their first crewed mission
Gotcha, and they had issues
When they were launching the two people up into space you have to shit. No, you look like you're like
I'm really tired. Okay. What time do you go to sleep?
Probably by one wait don't know what the fuck is wrong with you read a bunch of us bad
three days so
Plague with issues flying up they had thruster malfunctions and once they docked with the space station
They went through a bunch of testing and like delayed their return trip
And they finally decided that it wasn't safe enough to bring the two astronauts back with the thing
Yeah, so they're bringing it back unmanned
Yeah, I should be at trust are still in the space correct and they have to stay until February of next year
Because they can't go back with it
And they was gonna be an eight-day trip and it's gonna end up being like an eight month trip and are they like
They're chilling they're chilling in the space station, but that's the background for you. Well also before before they even
Were getting launched by a huge rocket that might kill everybody inside of it
Like they delayed that too because there was like a leak somewhere
Like the Ford F-150s
But also that same leak that they quote-unquote fixed
Was the one that why they couldn't like the thrusters were leaking. Oh, so they botched it pretty much
Okay, so we're gonna watch it so the moral of the story is NASA decided a little while ago like a week or two ago
That they could not bring the astronauts back. It was too risky. So they did it back unmanned. Gotcha. Yeah, okay
So that's the that's the
Information for you, okay
So here you go
Oh that silence, I think this is cool. I'm a fucking nerd. So you believe this is real
So funny and funny you should say that no
Space is fake. Oh
Oh
Let me see the undocking oh
Shit, it's like, you know when you get this perfectly good shit when it comes out your ass when you're pushing through
just like
So there's like springs in the spacecraft that just slowly push it away
Confirmed that's amazing
Separation confirmed that's a good caption. Yes, too late separation confirmed but that
That's our show title every time because we had Godspeed Starliner when they launched we have to do that Mike
You're gonna be in the bathroom. I just gonna walk to the door like
separation
Just imagine you're just imagine you're in there like a public bathroom doing that and just like you just sit down take a shit
No, no, no, no separation confirmed hold on
Shut up
Separation confirmed so what you need is that lady saying that
Recorded a little sound bite on your phone that you can play as loud as possible
So you're in a public restroom you just drop a deuce. Yeah, and then you play separation confirmed
So everyone can hear you like that's amazing Mike. I just want you know you need to you need to
Get a sound bite of that just separation confirmed clip this bitch. Yes
Let's clip it please. Starliner is now backing away from station and starting its return to earth
Starliner's ancestors will then complete two short firings to gradually increase the separation speed to help the spacecraft carefully move away from
the orbiting lab
So they like it backs up and then they launch a bunch of like thrusters to like get it and it slowly goes
Bye-bye that makes sense and then it gets outside of like the area and then exactly my typical bathroom experience
Dude space is just like a it's just like launching and launching or I guess so it was nighttime
So it was like so these thermals. Yeah, but here you go
There it goes then there it goes and there it goes
So this is you can see the airbags to deploy at least starliner did something correct
Nitrogen as they guide starliner safely back to the desert floor
In the middle of the night 9 p.m. So it takes about six hours to come back to earth
So then it let coast down
Umbrella's and it has a little airbag on the bottom when it hits the ground
And that's a new thing isn't it it's like the way they do the dragon. I think and this it's like a new thing
Before it was just like you know dude, you're just gonna have a really good one. That's right before it was the space shuttle
Well, I'm sorry. I'm really good at this. Hell. Yeah. What's that? I said, they're getting really good at this. Well, it's like
So this is not space. This is the competitor. Gotcha. This is star. This is Boeing's starliner
Is it way more impressive what SpaceX does? No, they like land rockets SpaceX just did this like way faster and
Arguably better that's been Boeing did
But the Boeing and SpaceX have both have the contracts to send astronauts to the International Space Station cool
Touchdown touchdown touchdown
So the moral the story is
Touchdown everything went out perfectly without a hitch so they could have put the people on but you know in high
You know hindsight. Yeah, but in hindsight now, they're stuck till February
How crazy would that be?
If you were stuck in space for an extra and you just could have
Well, what I mean time you but you couldn't because NASA gets to decide what you do and don't right, but you could but you could
You could have come back and not died you could have said hey fuck you. I'm getting in the thing
It doesn't look like that. Yeah, no
They're just not gonna open the doors for you. If you're an astronaut if you're an astronaut you basically like follow
It's like you're in the military. Yeah, you don't own yourself anymore. That's right
They own you basically which is kind of crazy unless you go rogue. Well unless you go wrong. Hey, I'm in space motherfucker
I think they have lots of systems to make it so you can't go wrong
But do you imagine your brain imagine what happens if like someone that you so anyway
That's the conclusion of the saga way. Hold on. I will be back
We'll be back with you folks in a number of months when the two astronauts come back into SpaceX spaceship safely
We'll bring it back. They're gonna come back in a space exhibition. Dude. That's like the ultimate like fuck you. Oh, yeah
Yes, so I'm on it. It's not a good
Imagine if you go like so like say you trained for going up into space and you're like, oh fuck yeah
And then somehow hey, you could do it Tyler you could train cuz you're good in a pool true
That's what they do. They got my left grid certification like they trained like a big-ass pool. You'd be good
Hey, you should do it. You should become an astronaut. Yes. That's it. There are some funny stories from that
I
Know if you know, well, it's only if you want to talk about it. I don't know funny stories about you getting a lifeguard certification
Yeah, the the course instructor was like jacked
But he kind of talked like this
So he's gay jacked. Yeah, something wrong with that. It was okay. It's alright
Something wrong about being jacked. No anyways, the preliminary
So you get there and you have to do preliminary tests to decide if you're even eligible to do the course
And if you don't this is a lifeguard test like physical like yeah, so you have to like you have to swim swim 50
Now you said to swim 100 yards and then tread water for two minutes without your hands just your feet
So you have your hands like this. I could do that. Yeah, and then you have to swim another 50 yards
I don't know that I would want to swim a bunch of yards, but I can there's other one. We have to swim down
With no goggles retrieve a brick from the bottom of the pool like the deepest section and pull the brick back up
And then swim with it on your chest
On your back. Oh, I get it feet only because you're holding that's right
Nice, it was crazy though. Yeah, you did it. Yep. That's the deepest part of the pool six feet probably 12
12 at least okay, yeah 12 to 15. Oh 15. I'm not sure it's at least 12 12 is a minimum diving
Okay, yeah, I always thought of 12 is like the deep side of the pool, but maybe that's like
I think 12 might be right, but 12 is the minimum I know for diving you have to do as well
I think some pretty sure to be certified. Well to be able to dive into the pool legal like, you know
I'm with you. I'm sorry
You won't have a diving got it got it. Thank you
It's a lot of fun though. You learn about a
CPR and did you see if you are so I can spy yeah, but yeah, I've been CPR certified
I get CPR certified for my job and CPR certified like a year ago
American pool enterprises I get it. I gotta do the
Hey there potential lifeguards
Are you ready to dive in and learn about what it takes to a potential lifeguard? This video looks like it's older than a year ago
David, let's make a splash. No, that definitely looks like a year ago. Look how shaky that camera is
First of all, you have to have these kind of sunglasses
Fuck boy. It was your white boy summer some white boy summer
You should also be comfortable in and around the water before registering for a lifeguard training class
Why don't you do the ocean lifeguard Academy now the ocean lifeguard?
I did the Red Cross
Anyways
I
Awful the bell peppers. That is so bad
I like how you just sitting here ripping ass
Is it just quite like farts? Yeah, I'm loving like I'm having like a moment
I can feel another one coming. I just want you know if you vote if you vote for guests. Oh, bro. I'll be right back
I can't so bad
Like on a scale of how bad I can still see like soaked in the chair
It's just lingering I can't have that
No, dude. Oh, it's only on that side. I don't know
How bad like what does it taste like rotten eggs? It's just lingering
Yeah, I don't smell anything
You want to watch what I want to try like the f1 video clips
Why we'll come back to this really give a shit about him. Oh
Really bad. I don't know which one's which so
Cuz this one I think that one's Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort Zandavort
Yeah, okay, Logan
Isn't it funny I'm surprised they give them they give them that long these worse than shoe marker
Right, no, this is just a matchup of Sergeant crashing
Yeah, cuz I think it was after Zandavort they
Candom that's but this isn't a song about Zandavort. This is a song about him crashing correct
You
He's gonna give it back to like formula to I
Don't think you ever go back to formula to think you can
Yeah, I think you just move on to other series like Indy car and things like that. You probably be the fan on yeah
Did you close the door?
That was zero solid 100% liquid I
Think I've got like a stomach bug or something 100% liquid
I just want to know you know folks that we
So many good choices my Mike has a notebook just full of show titles
I just love that you said that because I've told like
Remember this is like exactly when I was like sick that last time when I shit myself in my bed
Remember that story I told you yourself in your bed. Oh, no, remember when I was telling you tight
Terry's control of your bowels
No, I went to fart and then a little bit of shit came out
It hasn't happened to me in like seven years. So
This is actually a good segue Tyler. It was like a little wait, so
What you're describing? Yeah, 100% liquid
So last like last time I was really sick. I think it was a stomach bug
Yeah, it was like two and a half three days of just needing to be near a toilet
So I just like stayed home. I was like I was sweating like shivers and stuff
Yeah, and I would um
Every one and a half hours two hours. I had to go on the toilet and it was just like
It was like a tether. It was 100% liquid or is it liquid for like two days straight?
Yeah, and it was like when you had you got the feeling you had to get on the fucking toilet. Yeah
Yeah, it's like you're barely holding correct. It's like correct like at the door knocking correct ready to get like ready to rumble
And so as I was getting sick
I didn't think that was gonna happen to me and I thought it was like I wasn't to that point yet
And I woke up the morning when I wasn't feeling well and I felt like I had to fart and I didn't know
And so I was like oh, it's a fart and I went to fart and immediately I knew yeah, I was like, oh shit
And I let it go and then I immediately brought it back. Yeah, like it was like
What do you brought it back? It's like when you go
No
No, so I I went to far and like I let some out and it was like a hundred percent liquid
Yeah, and a little bit came out when I realized and then I stopped it obviously
Yeah, when I realized I was having a clutch the cheeks. Yeah, and so it's just it's kind of like underwear only
Mm-hmm, but it's good. Dang really it was not good. Yeah, and then the next three days straight
I was a hundred percent liquid in the toilet. There you go
Yeah
I'm a very healthy person
So I don't get sick very often and when I do it's pretty mild
But I don't think you're sick. You don't think so. What do you think it is then? I don't know
You just got the runs from what? I don't know give me a reason could
Just some like bad food was it just this morning or yesterday just this morning yesterday. I've been phenomenal
Solid shifts. What did you what did you what did you eat yesterday? I don't I only like
Okay, what did you eat? What did you before you came to my home?
The answer is chicken. Okay. Okay. What else?
And some lettuce what else and then when you got here we had
Rice vegetables and venison. Yeah, could have been the venison. Oh, that's true. No, I don't think so
Why would that be? Yeah, you know the way no, do you venison that often? No, then that's why
But I don't either and I had venison but I like I had a second before I would assume they goes through
Let's look it up. I've had venison before you just have him look it up on the screen
My shits have been so solid I can't even shit. I'm like the opposite of tight
I'm like literally not backed up, but I'm like not ready to shit even
God, we're such a fucking DJ in addition eating raw or undercooked wild game. We can result in several other illnesses
So it was all mild diarrhea that goes away on its own
You're fine
You probably didn't cook it all
Plenty I cook it over done. I'm not sure mild diarrhea. Oh my that's not a show
That's not a that's not a good show brother that goes away on its own. That's not I
Like how you go he goes mild diarrhea it goes away on its own. That's a long-ass show title
I'm not gonna make that the title right down because it's hilarious. I'm not gonna make it stupid
He likes to have these little notebooks in like he dates the correct. He looks at the yeah, he has a notebook full of them
There's a lot of them in there nine
Eight twenty four. I was your birthday Terry
Is that a topic you want to discuss on the show or no, it was fine. It's just another day to be honest
You might have asked how old you are you can guess
Do you mind if I ask how old you are?
33 spot on right. Let's finish this video
Spot on we can help with the rest
Now I want you to watch this closely and tell us how this differs from your experience
I'm not this just as past. All right. Okay, whatever
Go ahead go you'll get a few hours of instruction on safety and first aid for our professionals stop
But you're probably
Did you get that a few hours experience? No
Instructions. It was six hours of online dumb videos
Pre-requisite online dumb and then just a physical test five days from 8 a.m. To 1 p.m. In person in Kent
I had to drive an hour
Dang wait so you had to like get in the pool for that long and do a bunch of I was in the water for like four hours a
Day for like four days in around the last day was mostly out of the window
That's not true like I was in the water like a salt for four some days three hours a day
Okay, doing curious about the testing requirements for lifeguard certification
You'll need to pass a few tests with different levels of difficulty based on the type of facility where you'll be working
For most locations the standard pool training is all you need, but there are a few special facilities like open water environments
Types of facilities did you get the standard training? I got the all-encompassing training
I got the full-on Red Cross on slot of everything shallow standard and whatever this is like
Shallow training for water less than five feet deep
standard training for pools over five feet in depth
No, we're watching the video and then you tell us what you're how you differ from okay
And I have like a notepad it's jot down some things or it's not yeah, do you want to write a mind?
You were swimming for a set distance
It's full. I don't ever like you just have to make it without taking a break
If you're going to be a shallow water lifeguard, this looks easy
50 yards without stopping all right if you're worth oh
100 yards, I don't even know you get 100. I don't think this is like a Red Cross
All right, let's look this up. This is not the Red Cross official
There prerequisites this one, but that's just the prerequisites I already explained to you
Why are we looking at this sounds like someone's taking a piss it does sound like that doesn't know
Sounds like
This is not sound like hold on
I'm Katie. I'm a pool manager. That's not sound like fun. No, no being a pool manager
I actually watched the video to below your test question. You know we should start watching Mikey
Are you done with this Tyler? You don't care about this. It's not that Mike. No, we should watch the video. I send you okay Mikey
Can I help you Terry? You know we should start watching. No, I don't we should start watching a
wrc
rally
Okay
But you barely watch F1. What are you talking about? I watched all the time
You sure you can handle another one. Yeah, I watch a WRC. Yeah, I'm not gonna say anything. I'm just gonna let you watch
You know WRC is
No world rally cross
You got a WRC WRC W. Oh
Yeah
What's this what are we doing the fuck is this?
Cleaning day and this week my boyfriend and I are swapping chores to spice things up
So babe you have to descale the news
Okay, and you need to be gizmer his morning meal
What gizmer?
Can you have no idea the chores I do around the house?
So you take these
And you give them to gizmer
No, there's nothing funny about gizmer
Okay, so you think you know so take these honey honey I'm showing you and throw
the fuck I just want you to know the difference between your sense of humor than our sense of humor is so fucking like
One end of the specie yesterday and they were like on the ground like not really that's funny. It's so fine
We're in we're in there. Do you think that's funny really that didn't
Like I get the point where sometimes my videos don't get you and
Therapies don't get me you say this is approximately a decade and a half difference in age of humor a hundred percent
Well because that doesn't that doesn't make any sense to me just some dude sitting there with a
Dude saying you got to feed my my friend that's in the fucking make a second attempt sure go for it
I
See that's funny. I like that one. You have you two more. Yeah
Second and third attempt and that's all do do that one. Oh god
I just know this is funny. This is funny. That's good. I like that. It's good. It's like his mom or something. Yeah, hold on
Like some person flying across the guy
That's obviously not a real person on that but still
Yeah, that's great. Oh great here we go
What was I
Fuck I saw something with an autistic person there. I should have made it a little bit damn it never mind. Okay
This is a video about middle schoolers miss girl middle schoolers now versus their dance. I love this song
This is Macha Bob
Macha Bob Ijean
Hello, today Joshua is going to
Levitate on our magic show
I like this way, oh, yes, how'd you like that?
That's good, but now you got it. This so this kid is me and Terry
You're a little girl generation. Yeah, watch my homie levitate
Like that's my show
That's back in the day when yourself on a video was like awkward. Yeah, yeah, and not normal. Yeah, hello
That's like so good his fucking face towards the end was fucking phenomenal dude
That's beautiful. That's a good way. That's a goody man. You were danger self-tie you. Yeah, the first one not so funny. That's crazy
Oh, man, that's good. That's good. I like it. All right. I'll have a watch these two. Yeah, we can yeah, I
Don't know which one's what so have we seen them
There is a new one that's I think that one's the one with a lot of people on us
That's the Monza one. So that I think the one on the left is the
Was before Monza
Sandevoir, I think this one's that's why no one on the left. Yeah, that's in that's one
I
It's crazy that last week on Monza only one by one
I won with the we both got one and then I got the tie. There's no fucking crashes anymore
There's no red flags. There's no fucking safety cars anymore. I know man. So fucking boring that many safety cars at all
We need some more safety cars anymore crashes. That's what we need fucking me. That's pretty dark. That's pretty here's Monza
They only crash during like they only crash during like free practice and shit sucks and
And qualifying and you're not watching. Yeah
That's
Excellent that's good. I should like that song
I would say that
You just like only can park it's funny that you think that's like that's my
Elementary music it's old. Yeah, thanks. I live it is this from Fort Worden. This is a week ago. Is he I
Like it you zoom in while he's taking a piss and then zoom out that was a quick pee
That was a quick pee. I didn't have very much crocs
Is he biking on crocs? Yeah, but we were going down to the water with no socks
I've done that if you're going to the water. Yeah, yeah, you wouldn't go on a ride with that way
But you just like a short jump down to the water. I was gonna say
I was gonna say if you're riding a bicycle for like a long time with that. What a beautiful river and a wonderful day
I just want to know you're very interesting, and I like it
This is he's trying to bridge that little kid video with the new age like girls dancing
He's trying to go back to the original of like kids doing stupid ass shit
This is what we do most of that. Yeah, that you just use you are next to a nice river
He's trying to go back to his roots. You watch your friend pee. Yeah
Hey, hey Terry, that sounds exactly like my child. That sounds like what we did
Yeah, but usually what we did was when your friend I'm not like when what the other when we do when someone else's peas
What we do is we push them. Mmm. Oh, yeah, so they piss all over their hand and their leg and shit
Yeah, just this was yesterday. I
Remember I remember I used to always be so paranoid when I was taking a piss outside and a do an AJ was anywhere near me
I would literally be so paranoid because he would always do that to me
Yeah, that's what what friends that's what friends did
So I think he shoved me before still hard though like I fell down and like piss got everywhere
All right, shut up. Oh
No, look look
Oh, that's freaky you need it more of her in the video. Yeah, you need it you need it me like more con like towards the back
You need more for talking you need you
Are you more of like the conscious got a shuffling down this part
Hello, you need more of the contrast of it to be see it like you can see it
That sounds so bad
Like hello giggle, that's creepy as fuck that is pretty cool. You can't get all the entire way it runs a video. I'm sorry
We're giving you notes on your on your photographer skills. Are we just watching videos what you like did yesterday?
I
Was to eat this is a week and a half
Can I just say I like I like his swim shorts. Yeah, they're nice
No homo, okay
There's something wrong about commenting on some
I
Like that he's wearing a helmet that's fucking cool
He's being safe. I like
Is the that's the end shot right the fact that he has a helmet on ah
I should have been my post that final shot there for the dr. Pepper can your thumbnail. Yeah, I should have been it
Do you post these to the gram? Yeah?
Did the kids call it the gram I
Was I was just to call it I always thought it was called the gram people call it. Yo you post a show on the
Where was it was it or not? What was it? I?
Forgot what I was like that's a good fine
Do for the gram or nah or something like that. I think that's what it was
Okay, it's really
Yeah, so real
That's not a little bit
You can't see
Flash guns flash guys
Where's the creepy girl, what do you mean the creepy girl? I want more of that. It's funny
Like these are we've done this before the same concept
Tyler go the other way. Yeah, Tyler go the other way
I'll give video you dying
I got you your tongue out. No you're right. I do
Didn't even know that you had that out. I noticed like yesterday when I watched it
Wow, that's like that's like peak physical performance right there. Yeah, it's pretty what an athletic specimen I am truly
That's Mike that's a Dutch shows my brother. I would do something way dumber than that. I'm gonna get to the top. Yeah
I
Wasn't even that bad. It was slippery though. Yeah. Yeah
You get new shoes then you don't get grip dog
That's funny yeah
God damn. Oh god
You make too many home videos Tyler
That was a compliment
He took it as a one. That's his best he's gonna get
It's a lot going on here, you know what I'm saying
We're having a we're in a fantastic time right now
All right, whatever what's on the docket?
Tyler what you got for us? What's the latest and greatest?
And what's going on in your life in the world of the Graham of the Graham is the Graham
Only a part of your life for the Graham. I really don't are not what I'm more of a content
Actually, it's the other way around that was a lot I'm over
Yeah, go
Oh
Give me ten good ones David Goggles motherfucker, let's go
Come on you ain't done yet
Who's gonna carry the boats?
Who's gonna carry the boats Tyler?
Come on
Three more he said doesn't even a more seven nine
Those are full extension. That's pretty fucking hard. You're ten full full extension. Yes, dude chin ups
No, no, these are the harder look at full extension. That's fucking hard. So this way is harder than this. Yeah, dude
These are hard. You couldn't I've been working
Fuck yeah, let's go full
Extension on your arms. No chance. I probably have a check it
Did you see that Doug sensor Martin broke the world record for pull-ups Doug sensor Martin in 24 hours just the other day
No, yeah, he's been training for like a year to do the cod the
I don't know. Let's let's find out
Find out together. So how we how long did it take him? Well, no, it's just the most
It's the highest number within 24 hours. Oh, so you go for 24 hours basically as much as you can do in 24 hours
You can also rest well, you're covering right? But yeah, so it's like that, you know risk-reward ratio for how much time you
Cover versus jug sensor Martin. Oh
Damn, there's a lot of this. I want to see a recap
I just don't want to watch like him doing it for 24 hours. Was it on the stream? Oh
Fuck dude, I don't want to do this like in my home. What? Oh
Only has 10 views
He's really fallen off he used to be bigger so so he's on this is the number he's on right now
But he's not trying to be big. He's trying to be good at pull-ups
No, he used no, no, he used to be way bigger. He just has been training to do this for a while now
So like you just kind of like do a couple take a chill and that counts as long as you like your chin above the bar
I think so. I mean, I don't know the rules, but well for pull ups you have to get above the bar
Okay, your chin has to be above I bet he's on fire right now in 24 hours the current record
That's intense and think about it you're awake for like 24 hours just trying to get out that's true
He must be insanely sore and tired. Yeah, oh
My god, look at the pinky blisters. You gotta that's not as bad as I thought it would look
That's actually not bad, but you have big padded gloves on oh, he does. Yeah, you still have that right? Yeah
Yeah, so we can't rewatch the moment is there a moment where he gets it? I don't know
I don't think he has the last thing recorded here
All right, it's the next morning. Yeah, I think he said it was like only on twitch so you can't watch it back
Other moment when he got it
Is not available on twitch so we can't rewatch the moment no broke the record. That's so crazy, dude
So you stream this on oh he streamed it
He even stopped with three hours left. Wow because you're probably like still fucked up you can't go harder farther
I wonder I wonder how much he well that means he did a
Four hours, god damn well wait hold on so if you had three hours left so he did
So he could have gone along or wait hold on so how many did he do?
92 50 92 50 divided by
21
He averaged
440 pull-ups an hour
Really, what's that per minute? Dude, this is so far increasing
Seven
Imagine dude, that's insane. Yeah, well also that's really cool that he's broken it. I mean also you get the
It's funny shot talking about it. It's funny that the war like the war guys
I just pause this for one second. He's in texas now. This is in texas
But the funny thing about it is everybody knows who Doug sensor Martin is from a cod perspective
What he's a pro video. He was a pro. Really? Yes
So all around good like very so like the people that you see over here
Like for Nate shot Nate shots oldest fuck and he's balding and
Hey, he's younger than us. Yeah, it's also he's receding to
Hey Terry
Shout out to him
The fuck what why you fucking shit on him for his fucking hair? We both have to stay together us ball people
You know I'm saying this stick together high five
Up high I'm not gonna slap down low bro. My hair is
You know, I don't want to brag
Yeah, you're also like uh, you got a lot younger than us. You have time to lose your hair. I got good record
My man did like over 9,000 pull-ups. Yeah, he's still had a couple hours left when I woke up
I sat down on my my my setup
Turned out his stream. He had like I call it set up where you just like it's not it's not a desk anymore
It's a setup. This is my setup. My gaming. So this is my setup. I sit up my setup now
We said that back when we were playing cod gb's my setup we called them setups
I didn't realize that was like anything
Dude that used to be a thing like back in the day
I used to watch like setup videos of people like giving tours of their fucking
Desk and monitors and everything to get like ideas for what to do. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they always call them like setup
Tours. Yeah
Terry you did that shit
I just called him a desk
Stop his
Body was just cooked. I mean the guy had been up for 20 hours
I mean
Dude for the majority of the stream that I was tuned into yesterday because he started while I was live yesterday
Bro, he didn't he wasn't playing any music. He wasn't talking to nobody
He I don't even think he had headphones in that man was yeah
He looked like he was just standing there in silence like as he was taking breaks. Yeah, maybe just want to be like a tough mother
Like, no, I could maybe just want to mention a million years
Well, he'd always he's always been really ripped and like was always in the gym all the time
That was that was the thing about everybody like kind of made fun of him for being like not made fun of him
But he was not one of the gamers that were fit which is that they made fun of because
Yeah, yeah, you're a gym fanatic
Like playing video games and that's what you do. All you do is play games and go to the gym
I was gonna just play video games for my life
I have to be a gym fanatic because I'd need that output because the rest of time you're just sitting there like losing
Yeah, yeah, yeah becoming which makes sense because you you'd still want to get fit and yeah, because if you don't you're gonna be like a
Big big burly person
I think David Goggins
Won the record
And then like a couple other people want it and then like Cam Haynes's son
Beat it again, and then like the other guy is standing next to Doug's cam Haynes
The other guy's standing next to Doug in that video beat it
And then Doug beat it the guy standing next to him had the record before. Oh, that's really cool. They're like passing it off
Yeah, I think so like passing a bit torch
His name is do you don't know who Cam and Haynes is I know Cam Haynes is he's like a bow hunter guy
This guy I have no idea that is
He's you'd like on the left you'd like him to unbeat it. Yeah, so it's his kid
I think it's true it
Yeah, true Haynes pause. So this kid beat David Goggins his record
David Goggins his record
4100 I mean this is back when the record was 4,000 right now Cam and Haynes's son
True it is trying to break Goggins 24 hour chin-up record
You just yeah, you have to get your chin above the bar
That's it
You know his father's I hate how it's like most on planet earth. Yeah
Most of it is just fluff until you get to the end
I gotta get 50 I still gonna get 4100 by
Yeah, you know, I just gotta get that in under 24 hours. I'll do that, but
The big mark was beating Goggins
time
and reps so
shout out Goggins. Thanks for the encouragement
Holy crap
He's smiling my hands were just wrecked
but um
Rogan Haynes 20 text message. That was a big thing
Yeah, Cameron Haynes is like buddies with Joe Rogan
Goggins
That kind of fuel the flame you carried the boats today
I was gonna carry the boats. So what is that from?
What carry the boats it's from Goggins. Do you not know who David Goggins is? I know David Goggins is
That's David Goggins. That is by the way when I thought of Goggins when I when I first thought of him
I thought he was like a big jacked black dude. He was he was a big fat black dude. No jacked black dude
Just don't give you wrong. He is jack. You don't know me son
Get it 18. You don't know me son
Get it 19. You don't know me son. Yeah
20 you got some more
21. Yeah, get again
Come on, we want to see it
22 who's gonna carry the boats?
That's you buddy. Come on 23
Come on 24 one more David. Who's one more to carry the boats?
You're gonna do it. You're gonna do it. You're gonna do it. You did it. Yeah
That's what David Goggins saying
It's gonna carry the boats
It's like when you're ever like doing some hard athletic activity you say don't don't bitch out now
Who's gonna carry the fucking boats? Yeah, that's how you make yourself go longer go harder. Yeah. Goggins is good. I like Goggins
In my pull-up video did your Travis said he's he named drop David Goggins. Yeah, that's how we're pulling this up
Yeah, he said who's gonna carry the boats? No
He said you're like a David Goggins
Yeah, you said David Goggins. He said David Goggins
Travis didn't he say in the your video who's gonna carry the boats? That's what I heard. Did he not say that? No
But that's like a famous David Goggins saying
Yeah, you didn't you? Goggins on taking souls
Don't click on it. Oh too bad. You started. I don't know. I watched the one earlier that it said like a Joe Rogan podcast going wrong
What? It was on like I recommended
I like the one where it says someone was talking about Goggins is off of this video
Yeah, it's like what really you like
No
There Joe Rogan, are you going wrong?
22 minutes debates to awkward silences Joe will comment
Not even a little bit. No, okay. Oh, this is just when Joe like disagreed with his guest or something like that. Yeah
Yeah, let me let me clarify this
I don't throw trash on the ground like I'm not saying like we need to like, you know trash the environment like um
But do I believe in climate change? No Joe challenged her argument
Suggesting the issues complexity and questioning Candice's quality voice. I'd rather watch like something else than this
Yeah, the voice over has seen have you seen this guy?
This is maybe you might like this. Oh, I know who this is
Oh, there you go. Do that one with that. I'm sailing. Oh, this is like the one that they this is like a made up one
Space. Yeah, this is funny
But it's it's it's visible. What space is real
Are you joking? You're a science denier. What?
stop
The the bodies of science have bestowed the truth if you ignore it. I get another fucking lecture from you
I'm gonna go crazy
When did you start having this opinion shut the fuck up
You're fucking idiot, bitch
Don't do that anymore. What are you gonna do about it? Bitch
You are literally powerless. Yeah, I'm just gonna do whatever I want. Not all you can do about it
You could get your ass kicked. Are you threatening me? Yeah
I think you are a far right white supremacist racist. I have no respect for you. You're like my dog
Does it ever occur to you?
That you're like disgusting just like vulgar. It's like a pig
If I were to sort of narrow down my bigotry, I like how I just constantly zooms in every time
I'm the best talker in America and you're like some wacko
You're a real freak if I take a nine millimeter router 762 by 39 and shoot you can you catch the bullet?
I can't do that. What are you gonna do about it? I got a bigger one. Why would you hide that?
That's just wrong. That's not fair
I
Wanted to pull out a bigger one. I want to see the animals and everyone
I love that's all from the same podcast. They pulled this clip suck. Yeah, because they're yeah
You got real fat. Yeah
You need some myth
You know, okay that that makes sense dude your films are so bad. What?
Like every film that you made
Was so stupid what's happening right now. You didn't like it. You got to quit. You're terrible. Oh my god
What are you talking about man? I'm pretty good at this like you're delusional. Jesus dude
You think you could
Dude, I saw your uh live show. I was like, whoa shit. It sucks
Yeah, that sucks, but it was tight you have bad taste. You're just a stoneman, dude
This is he wasn't on this podcast. Okay. He was on his own thing with rogan not okay. Let's
It's sparr. Let's go. This is
nuts
Good luck, bitch. He kills people
Cunk
I have a high you this is pretty stupid. The Tucker Carlson was especially well done. That one was not good. No, that one's not good
There are some older ones that were funny
Uh your door
Are they the one where he hits on Tulsi Gabbard a bunch?
Oh, Alex
Alex ones are so funny
Oh a 10 too, yeah
Your dude is like an alien spaceship like aliens bigger than that. But hold please. You're drunk
Yeah
I
Want to do is talk to you right now. I want to just say I love you look look
to
Let me write down are you okay?
That music is so good
Let me just tell you oh, jeez. Did you see Tim's smile?
I'm biologically a girl. No, is that true? Yep. Come on. Yep. Well, how do we know Joe Joe?
Joe, I swear to god. I want to have sex with you
Let's not go down that roll so sexy
This is when it gets good that seems crazy. I want to give me the big
I think it's a lot
Don't give me one of those you keep that shit away from me. My no no. Let's go right now. No
I'll get my money right now. Stop. You blew me. I'm really good at it. He's crazy. Oh my god. What's the goal gay orgy?
This is my version of a make-a-wish kid going to disney world. I mean, it's a big gay hookup deal. Oh, Jesus christ. No, I can't
Just have some no, I can't
Be fucking ass. Okay. Hold on settle down. All right. Okay. I'm down. I cannot
Give up your body or I will kill everybody
You're going up against forces that are way too powerful. You don't even know what you're you're you're knocking on here
Put me like choke me out. I think it was like Brandon Shaw and then
Alex Jones was on there too. You should do uh choke me out. Joke me out right now. What's up? Should like that find this song
do like a
Chazam song reader thing and figure out what this song is. What so I can have it so I can play it for other people
Just take notes on this video. Let me hear it. Let me hear it. I confess this love for you. Let me hear it
If you go against these these people earlier on you find your back then go back a little bit
This is why you get back to the beginning. I want to watch this
Shut up. I'll kill you. There's a lot of issues. Shut up. This is a very important ritual
I'm in charge bend over
I'm getting hammered. Yeah, well you could be molested by worse people
All right, you're back to the beginning
Can you shazam find that song? No, no, no just go back to the beginning of the thing
I need you
I can't get it
You can get it
Oh, shit
All right, go
You're gonna use to do is like an alien spaceship like aliens figure this out or something hold hold please but hold please you're drunk
Yeah
It's not gonna work because like there's too much talking. Can you do it through your macbook like just I'm sure it's on there
Right
What shazam?
No, so why would it be on my macbook? Go to the description. Go to the description
Yeah, maybe it's the
Eternal garden by Dan Henig
Probably this one is probably the first one
Well, let's find out together. All right
What was it internal garden
Why do you mean we're fucking
This how it started is fucking hilarious
Man, I don't know this good really. Hey, Tyler. You happy I'm
He's more than I don't know why that you cared so much for that song
He's just what is this fucking feet person doing?
There's an hour long version where it's just on repeat. Yeah. Oh my god. Go back to the search results
Check check this guy out though. He's got a lot of funny ones. Oh, this one's funny. He's like into this chick
Oh, she's hot. Yeah, she's like a diver Valentina Tom. Oh, I think I might have heard of her
She like spearfish is like the Caribbean inch like that. Maybe that Valentina Thomas or something. Yeah
I've been watching you
I find people online and I watch them
You had this amazing photo from a couple days ago. You're wearing a bathing suit
There is Jamie nailed it
What
Jamie
What do you mean picture my bathing suits
Wow
That's very impressive. This is the greatest thing ever. You're perfect. It's romantic
Can you stop talking right now?
This is the greatest thing ever
I want to live my life with you. I'm gonna do this forever
What? Well, I have a boyfriend
That has never stopped me in the past
That's not gonna happen
Ask you how old you are
I don't think my age is an issue
Oh Jesus, you're in your 30s
You guys are shit together by now
You being ridiculous
She's thinking about settling down, having a family
We're doing nothing
Torsche
I don't like this
That is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever heard
Let's have a baby
I'm sorry but no
Let's have a baby
Like me, he does this
No, he's gonna take a turn for the worse now
They always take a turn
Alright, I'm gonna go
Lock the door
You haven't seen these
They always do the turn at the end
They don't hold their breath
They just gag on water and drown
Did you imagine that somehow
This could be the end of your life?
What the fuck am I doing here?
You're gonna die
I don't want to be here
There's gonna be some blood
They always end up with some stupid thing
Where they fall out of gun
Anyway, check it out
If you haven't seen this
I see it, I don't know of the person
Yo
Some are better than others
You all excited?
For what?
For Monday
Dude, it's the best time of the year
It's the best time of the year
Dude, it's the Super Bowl for phones, man
Oh, are you watching this?
I used to
I used to be like
Put the NFL music
You mean like watching it live?
It's not live from years
That's not the NFL music
Put it on
It's not live, it premieres
It used to be live
Before they started doing their whole
Yeah, good point
Can you pull up a
Can you pull up a video saying every iPhone
is ten times better than the previous one?
Do they have clips of that?
Where it's just like
This iPhone is ten times better than this
Or more powerful than this one from last year
or some shit like that
You've been passed again?
It is so rank
Oh my god
That is so bad
I just want to let you know that every time you fart
it goes towards him and I can't smell it
It's like going out to the window
That was like a five second reaction
That's good reaction time
It is so bad
Oh my god, it's like rotten eggs
What am I playing, Terry?
I just want a compilation of them saying
everything's better
If you write X, it's going to give you iPhone X
I didn't write X
I know where you wrote X, iPhone X
iPhone X was X, still mass
What do you want me to type, Terry?
Type in like a compilation
of the keynotes saying
iPhones are ten times better than they
or like something like that
along those lines
Can't think of anything
Then the last iPhone, there was when you did it
Then the last iPhone or some shit
You better like make sure
you get it right before you leave
There we go, there we go
That one, the top one
This is what you're going to get on Monday, everybody
This is good
That's why I'm really excited to tell you about
an entirely new version
the iPhone 3GS
Because this is the most powerful and fast
I like how they made it really cool
We made a new phone, boys and girls
It was a 3
but now we're adding an NS
This is the iPhone we've ever made
We're introducing
iPhone 4
This is beyond the doubt
the most precise thing
one of the most beautiful things we've ever made
iPhone 4 team was pretty good
Today we're going to introduce iPhone 5
It is the most beautiful product we have
ever made, bar none
This is iPhone 5S
The team has carefully considered
every detail to make this
the most beautiful phone ever made
These are the new iPhones
The iPhone 6
and the iPhone 6 Plus
They are without a doubt
the best iPhones we've ever done
This is what you're going to get the entire
fucking keynote
iPhone 6S and the iPhone 6S Plus
the iPhones you are about to see
are the most advanced
Remember back when they were doing S models
How stable was that?
Because they didn't want to go from 7
They just were like, eh, we're just going to
stand for anything
It was just the intro model between
5 and 6 and 6 and 6
It was like, yeah, so it went from 3GS
It was 3GS, 4
4S, 5, 5S
6, 6S, 7, 7S
and then 8
It wasn't a 7S
It went from 7, 8, 9, 10
It was like a 7 Plus or something
Well the Plus came out in the 6's
which was the bigger phone
This is iPhone 7
But it's the best iPhone
that we have ever created
iPhone 8
You know what? He's not wrong
Every single new one
is the best one they've made
It's like the same concept it was saying
It's like this concept of saying, oh, freshly
baked bread
The new thing is the newest thing
we have ever made
You're not going to believe this
It's the newest thing
It's good
It's fucking good
It's the highest quality video
capture ever in a smartphone
This is the most powerful and
smartest chip ever in a
smartphone This glass is the most
durable ever in a smartphone
This is iPhone 10
It is the
biggest leap forward to see the original
iPhone This is
iPhone 10
Pause, pause, pause, pause
Look up real quick
Just do it right now. Donald Trump
biggest best
It's so bad
It's just like constantly
freshly baked
bread
Yeah, it's frozen but I
freshly baked it every day
for you
Let's go down
What?
How is there not a compilation?
They get the best beautiful
Look a big, big, big, big wall
Best big wall?
Yeah, Donald Trump
Best big wall
Or just do the best big wall
Donald Trump
Pleads to build the wall
Sure
We're going to build the wall
We have no choice
Imagine how this dude got there
Build that wall
I was a bad call
I was sure that you would come up with
That's the iPhone we've ever created
The iPhone 11 Pro
And these are the most powerful
and most advanced iPhones that we
have ever built in a stunning
new design
This is iPhone 12 Pro
The largest display we've ever shipped
in an iPhone
iPhone 13 Pro
These are the best iPhones we've ever created
iPhone 14 Pro
and iPhone 14 Pro Max
The best iPhones we've ever created
and iPhone 15 Pro
These are the best
and most capable iPhones
we've ever made
Yeah
They slightly changed it
It's not ideal
You'd think a company that's like the richest company
ever in the history of the world would be able to come up
with something more original
They're spending billions of dollars on marketing
The ad campaign for these things
You'd think they'd have someone who's intelligent
and they'd be able to do something
Meet Eye Bottle
Let's meet Eye Bottle
It's 52 seconds
It's probably going to say Polycarbonate
Oh, turn it down
Drink, water
Piss
Prime
Sigma Design
It's 0.69 liters
Sun Design
Anti-Spill
100% required
100% lead
Made from 100% lead
100% safe
The most revolutionary water bottle
Well, one more thing
Introducing
A drop
I knew it would show your drinks
Shared 69,420 plus different drinks
Wait, what was the... Oh, go back
There was an asterisk
There's a footnote
There's a cliff note
Certain drinks are not available in some regions
Not available in North Korea
or Ohio due to sanctions
Wait, wait, go back
Go back
Posit
No more
Posit
69G selling a shake
Available in Ohio
Starting at 69,000
I thought it was just...
Price in Canadian dollars
Meet your new best friend
That's pretty good
I just like the part where...
My favorite thing was
My favorite thing is when it was just that guy
What was the guy that just said
Polycarbonate
Do the history of Apple
Johnny Ives
The funniest person ever
I'm not watching 16 minutes of
The history of Apple
This company is pretty much
The most valuable company on earth
But it was never supposed to be like this
This almost didn't exist
But why?
Let me just take you back to...
It's 1969
The baby boomers were all grown up and they hated their country
They didn't want to fight in the war that was happening
They had new ideas about what the world was
They loved their country
Which is why they didn't want to fight the war
They just wanted to change and burn their draft cards
Steve Wozniak
We're gonna watch this Tyler?
It's not what I thought it was gonna be
Steve Wozniak
Pretty much the creator
It's like the same thing I think Wozniak was the creator of the
The software
And then Steve's jobs took it from him
Steve's jobs
Is this Craig?
I love Craig
We're gonna watch you know what Craig is
Craig's funny so man
It's only the same thing over and over again but he's funny dude
There's always a shirt that has an extra button undone
It's like I'm great
And then sometimes he sweats
He needs to undo a button one more button
Of course I can do anything I would normally do on my Mac when I'm on AirPlay
For instance launch GameCenter
And here I see my GameCenter account
I like how this is a clap
Like you can play poker
Yeah
As well as all my
Like I chose that right
He's got a good sense of humor
I can also see all of my GameCenter friends
I've got one here
Mr. X who's been meaning to play me
In this new game that's coming out
Called CSR Racing
So I think we can summon him to the stage for a little competition
It's a stick
It's an astronaut
Where's the clap
Damn
We've hit a real issue
Due to a dwindling supply of cats
So I'm proud to present to you today
OS X
Sea Lion
That's not even that funny
That's actually really good
That's when they changed to like National Parks and shit
What did you want?
Tyler? That other one?
No there's the one
Crush
That might be funny
This is just the commercial that they pulled
Is that commercial?
This is a commercial that
They pulled
Because it had so much
This is the actual commercial
There was something about the commercial that
This was an Apple commercial?
For the new iPad
Because it's so thin it can't be crushed
And it has all these activities in it?
It has all these like
Books, guitars, everything
There was something about this
There's only some item in there that they weren't allowed to have
No, it was like
It was Uncrushed
It was Uncrushed Apple commercial
Wait, wait, wait
EyeBottle Max Pro
Hold on
It's the same bottle
This is the pro version
But
It's pro
Bigger
And better
Hold on
Even better
Anti-skill lid
Works in all conditions
All of this plus
All of the features on the base model
For only
$400
That was cheaper than the last one
That was way cheaper than the last one
No, so that
Eyeballs
So stupid
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
That's a good title
Eyeballs
The Crush commercial was showcasing the iPad's
Pro's capability of
Not getting destroyed
By a hydraulic press
But the concerns was
That's not true though
It can get destroyed by a press
Correct, but it's destruction
Of traditional creative tools
Such as cameras, guitars, typewriters
In favor of Apple's technology
So people were getting mad
Because they were destroying
Like a piano, a guitar
Shut the fuck up, it's a commercial
Like all of that, that's what it was
Some people don't have anything
To anchor their lives, like to tether their lives
Because the creative
The dumbest shit
They have no home base
Point of reference for how dumb that is
So it was just like destroying creative
Um
Alright, this is when you can't afford
Apple Vision Pro
So you get eyeballs
Interesting, Apple Vision Pro
Wow, can't wait
Just can't wait
To strap a computer to my face
Exactly, how much
What?
How much? Money
Is it? Question mark
Money, yeah
Here at Apple, you don't believe in money
We believe in great products
Apple Vision is the result of
Jackets that's worth
$3,500
Is that the real price tag?
$3,500
I work at McDonald's
FYI
Average Kidney
$4,000
It's okay
I will just make my own
Your own, that's impossible
Vision Pro took 20 decades of reshirts
50,000 engineers
I have a degree in coloring books
And so below there
I'm talking about
That's pretty good
Eyeballs
Is that a roll of toilet paper?
Yeah
Introducing
Eyeballs
Wait, does he have a chord?
Yeah, yeah
What a joke
First of all, I love that they call him Tim Apple
Because that's his name
Everybody calls him Tim Apple
Just wait
I haven't even turned it on yet
Or turned it on
You're funny
There's no way this thing works
Prepare to be amazed
The charging button
The charging sound
Your Eyeballs Vision Pro Max S Plus Ultra
is overheating
I'm going to put it off and unplug the device immediately
Heat warning
What? Don't worry
Small bug
Don't go away
Uh-oh
Your device has reached a temperature of 119,000 degrees
which is 12 times hotter than the sun
Run
On that second thought
I don't think this is normal
Normal? It's hotter than the sun
Maybe
I should
Yes, please
Never mind
Why not?
I kind of glued the charger to my car battery
Car battery
Yep
What kind of car?
Andriotta
Why? Oh no
Oh no, no, no, no, no, what?
This is bad. Andriotta
Plus Apple product equals
Good thing
It's not an Apple product
It's a Samsung
And it blows up
My favorite thing in life don't cost any money
It's really clear
that most precious resources
we all have is time
Why did you leave out the
Because he can't read very well?
Because he can't read very well
Oh really? I'm dyslexic
Dang, I'm a jerk
I'm really dyslexic
It's a problem
If there's complicated words
I read the screen
Like things
Wait, wait, wait, wait
What was that video?
What was that video that you sent?
My son has autism
And then he starts laughing
My son suffers from autism
I don't suffer from it
I just have it
You don't suffer from it?
I'm suffering from it
Is this song available in your streaming service?
No
It's a YouTube thing
Does that piss you off?
A little bit
I saved it, don't worry
Is this the guy from value-tainment?
Mm-hmm
Just loose, loose
Wait, what?
Dude, I love this
I got some retire practice
I went through a piece where I watched
cracking videos
where they would do the necks
and they would pull the legs
It's just great
Have you seen those?
I've seen a couple of them
Just loose, loose
Loose, loose
Okay, good
And breathe
Good
Okay, just be loose
Good
My life is so hard
Jesus Christ
Nice
Loose, loose
Because I love
I used to watch these videos all the time
and every move he's doing
is just so perfect for what they do
It's how they, you hear the noise
and they delay the video by a second
so it's cracking and then you put it
Oh no
What did you do?
Loose, loose, loose
Good, good
Make it loose, make it loose
No, because
Are you loose, loose?
Every time in the videos
Every time in the videos, that's what they say
they say good, I feel like it's all great
they say good, good
He literally is nailing it
Did you feel the pop? Okay, take a deep breath
Exhale
Did you feel the release?
You're doing great
You know what I mean?
Exhale, you're doing fantastic
You know? Yes, yes
Yes
It's really, actually the funny thing
you bring that up, I was at work
and one of my co-workers
is going to the car factory because he has
a little bit of scoliosis and they're saying
like if they can adjust him
back to fix his scoliosis
he can gain an inch
Oh wow
Yeah, he's already 6'4", so if he does
he'll be 6'5", anyways
I was like, dude, I can pop you back right now
and this dude's like
he's not jacked, but he's a big dude
Pretty heavy
I can pop you, I can crack you
and he's like, try it
I was like, did you do it?
I can't pop him, I can barely get my arms around him
Dude's thick
He's not heavy, he's not like
a big 6'4", guy
But he's thick
When I mean by big
6'4", guy, I mean
he's probably like
2.75", not like
300 pounds
But that's not someone you can pop their back
Exactly my point
But it's not muscle, is it fat?
It's not muscle, he's not like jacked
He's lean
So he's like jacked
No, I know, but I mean like
he's not like a muscly 2.70, he's muscly
It's not like a much fat fat boy
He's like a decent weight through in your 6'4'
Yeah
He's a big dude
He's a little heavy
But yeah, so I try to pop him
and it didn't work
Just relax, you're gonna feel a little pop
That's what I'm saying
It's like always like
You're gonna feel a little pop
You're gonna go, yeah
Yeah, it's good, it's good
Breathe
Just relax, take a deep breath
Dude, I just, it's just so good
Have you ever been to the chiropractor?
I've never got adjusted
I want to say I have
It was like a monthly thing for me growing up
I think I have in the past
No, you just did it
Not in the last two years though
I just used to watch a lot of these videos on
YouTube where they would do the pops
Just like I like the satisfying sound
Like that just sounds so good
And that's why this is amazing
I've never seen any of his skits
I've only ever seen
I've only ever seen him
on the
whatever fucking Patrick's show
or whatever it is
Watch the one on the bottom first
This is a series
Bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom, bottom
This is a series of fun
This is Phoenix?
This is Dona, Arizona
Isn't this Star Wars?
Nice
Oh, this is Anakin?
Olivia is Anakin
Yeah, that makes sense
That's not actually how it happened
I don't remember how it happened
Wait, pause this, hold on
Anakin jumps off and he not just legs off or something
I like how you stab her
That's not how it happened
Dude, he just chops his legs off
We just kind of went for it
Oh, that makes sense
It doesn't die
Olivia is like gawking
Yeah, she did good
And the Oscar goes to
Is that Alex at here?
Yeah
And the Oscar goes to
Best Supporting Actress
Right the magical llama, I will
That's a good one
Juju, Juju, Juju
Ah, Yoda, oh Juju
Yoda, oh Juju
Alright, cut
Dude, this is like wholesome children's like youth
I just want you to know
It's just so much better than doing those dances
That's a good title for the show
Ride the magical llama
Ride the magical llama, I will
I know, but it's too long for Mike
Ride the magical llama, Yoda, I am
Do it or not, there is no trotting
Ride the magical llama, I will
That was in the moment
Ride the magical llama
That's the good one, I like that
Ride the magical llama
It's a lot of weirds going on there
Ride the magical llama
Ride the magical llama, I will
So we got these glow sticks for the pool at night
Because the pool lights weren't working well
We were there
There was dark, it was just dark
Which is kind of cool the first two nights because you could do stuff in the dark
But we got the glow sticks
What kind of mischievous things were you doing in the dark and the pool?
With my 40 year old aunts and uncles
I wasn't saying like
Those are the only people that were there
The answer is nothing
There were like no hot girls in Arizona
No, Sedona
There's not?
There were like no teenagers
Where is Sedona? Is it next to ASU?
Is up north in Arizona?
North?
You should just go to ASU
You get head on
Wait, why did you go to Sedona for?
My grandfather's 80th birthday
We rented like a super cool house
Yeah, so it's up through
Oh yeah, you're not going to find anybody there
Phoenix
It was about a two plus mile drive
Yeah, if you went to Phoenix
You definitely get head on
It was right in the middle of basically Arizona
ASU is in
No, no, no, you think that the girls would head on to me
Yeah, wait, in Phoenix?
What's in Phoenix? I think ASU is in Phoenix
Is it not? I don't fucking know
Look at ASU, Arizona State University
State University
I am applying to colleges very soon
If you want to get accepted to a college
Go to ASU, they'll accept anybody
Ride the Magical Lama
Oh, ASU is down there
There's a bunch of campuses, look
Well, ASU is all the way down there
But there's all these campuses
I get it, I don't know which one ASU
That's what I mean, they have multiple campuses
What was the original ASU?
I don't fucking know, is this Phoenix?
That's Phoenix, yeah
Okay, Phoenix
We're down on the bottom of Phoenix there
There's that one, the far right one
Tucson?
No, it's in Phoenix
Why does this matter?
Oh, no, just asking if you want to get it
Me?
High school?
Okay, gotcha
Wait, did you just ask Gray once at college?
Hell yeah
That's a great fucking question, Tyler
I love that question
It's in Tempe, Arizona, that's where the headquarters is
That's the guy who can't read
Do you know?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
It's a throwback
Wait, where is it?
It's in Tempe, the top one
Tempe?
No, on the left hand side, top one
Where does it take you?
It's in Phoenix
It's in Tempe, that's where the main site is
It's in Tempe, Phoenix, Arizona
Tempe, Phoenix
Bro, you work at Amazon there, right?
You're like a manager or something?
Yeah, me just outed him on the show
It's okay
We talk about it all the time
And if you really cared
You could edit it out
If I really cared
I only make him edit mine out
We can edit mine out too
Yeah, you didn't want me to say the thing
Bowling?
I just said don't talk about it
We can talk about the Bowling Starliner
That's cool, and I like space
But not about the Pepe, you're directly responsible
for the side of that plane coming off
Oh, great
I'll start with the assassinations
Michael, what about the alleged
Disappearances?
What do you have to say about that, bro?
Chill out
Terry's got to go play for his team
You represent
We got a wrap
It's one o'clock, they'll get in
How did you enjoy the Grand Damn thing?
The Grand Damn?
I'm hard-worded over here
The Grand Canyon?
The Grand Coulee Damn?
Did you go to the Van Dam
Clanshod?
Hold on
You were in Sonoda?
Sonoda?
Sonoma?
Sedona?
And you drove all the way there to the Hoover Dam?
The Grand Canyon?
I thought you went to the Hoover Dam
Where's the Grand Canyon?
The Grand Canyon is up
Up there
I like that
Where is it?
The Huli Pappy
That's all the Grand Canyon
It's like 277 miles long
and it goes up to the stakeholder
This over here?
This is the Grand Canyon
It's all of that
Cool
Anything that's part of the Colorado River
is the Grand Canyon
I got some cool pictures here
I've been in the Grand Canyon
It's pretty cool
Yeah
I went when I was younger
I went with my faja
It was really funny because
when we went
they put these ropes saying don't cross this line
because a bunch of people were doing this stupid
Dying
Selfie sticks
were really popular at the time
They dropped them
They wouldn't drop when they would step over that line
get really close and then they'll fall off
and then die
A lot of people died
A lot of people died at the Grand Canyon
Yeah, that's once in a while
They would like film themselves dying?
No, Mike
They would go to the edge
and then the edge would break off
and then they would die
They put these lines saying don't cross it
and then people still cross it
and then we were talking to someone
and they're like yeah
That's a gigantic tarantula
Holy shit
That was just in your yard?
That's on the deck
What the fuck did you do about it?
We watched it and my grandpa put his hand
right next to it too
To see the size
Did you kick it off the thing?
Or just walked away?
Good thing they're not poisonous
They're like legs
But I love it
It's like sunken cars
The wheels are really close to the body
You mean the lowered suspension?
Yeah, the lowered suspension
They're probably on airbags
I just wanted to know
Wait, so you had no deck lights in the back
and that's why you're shining light on it?
We just to see it better
You can see the hair on his legs
Does it move?
It's fine
We also saw wild pigs
It's fine that tarantulas aren't poisonous
but they are freakishly big
They're insanely big
But if you want to see something freakishly big
Oh, I have more videos for you
I don't want to do this
I don't like spiders
Camel spiders?
That's the Grand Canyon
It's 10 miles wide and 277 miles long
So this was just like a lookout tower area?
Yeah, it's like a few miles deep too
I think I have mine on my Facebook
but I don't really go on my Facebook anymore
Olivia got a lot of really cool pictures
where she would take videos and stand there for like two minutes
and then she would get the shot when the lightning hit
So it's like this
Just watch it
Welcome back to another episode of Storm Chases
We are currently surviving
Oh, I thought this was another like home video from Arizona
It is a home video from Arizona
Yeah, it's Hailing
We're in a car
Who the fuck are these people?
That's my cousin in Olivia
That's just heavy rain
Just...
Welcome back to another episode of Storm Chases
Are you driving again?
We are currently surviving town
What is this?
Driving down a highway
in the middle of shit ass nowhere
We are chasing a tornado
We have a long way
This is not the last funny one
We can't see anything
Pray for us
Where was this? In Arizona
It was there, it was not in Arizona
Who was driving? Your driving?
My mother
Just...
Mikey
Welcome back to another episode of Storm Chases
I've been doing some soul searching
Consulting the ancient scriptures
Man, you look uncomfortable in that
Wondering
Is there a god?
And then this guy
parted
And I knew
Oh
Where are you going?
To the Grand Canyon
Oh, just you guys went?
No, we all went
Yeah, just more cars
Yeah
That's Jared in front of us
in a Bronco
Oh
Oh my god
Oh
That's not a funny video
I don't know, I send that to you
Just Jared driving
Turn it up, turn it up
Oh
I'm an American
living on a chevrolet
From a top
road from Berlin
I'm just born in a south
Sometimes I have a big mouth
When I see something that I don't like
I'm gonna say it
You didn't even like
You like sung like half the song
And then you just say
I'm gonna say it
Wait, isn't like, what was that one song
Like from cars?
Like the highway? Yeah, that's not like your favorite song
I can't do that
I can't do the instrumental part
That's like it's favorite song
Boo-boo
Life is a highway
I'm gonna ride it
Oh night
I think the first time we had a song
We should have this song
You're going my way
Yeah
Highlights that you want to share
No, it's just a tarantula
I was trying to find a video one night
On the deck, so you know those big things of birdseed?
Yeah, look up Camel Spiders
Like the walks of birdseed
That you sit on the ground
One day, during the day time
A wild pig called the Havalina came up
And started eating it
And we were like, hey, what are the chances
This guy goes
And comes back
And brings his family
And so the sun sets
And
So the way the house is laid out
There's a porch that wraps around the entire house
It's a very big house
And there's about 10
15 feet of deck space
And then there's just a drop off
Like a hill
So the wild pigs
About 13 of them
I can hear myself pretty well
It's not that you can hear yourself pretty well
Yeah
About 13 of them came up the cliff
And started eating this birdseed
So we got 13 wild pigs on our deck
And they were like yelling
And they were like eating each other too
They get all your teeth
And they go, ahhh
One of them would start eating
The birdseed in the same spot
One of them would be eating it
And the other would try to eat in the same spot
And then fighting each other
And then it was like blood
Anyway, so we wanted to use the pool
Because we had these glow sticks
And then blood got in the pool
But it was on the deck
And so what we did was
We were like, how are we gonna do this
I played Scotland Forever
Out the window
And the guy was like, what's that
Like a broomstick and he was like, hmmm
And then finally I was like
Hey, somebody get a hose
Get some water out there and all the women are going like
Don't hurt the pigs
And we were like, fuck them
My uncle Jared
My uncle Jared goes around the house
And comes in the back gate with a hose
And he sprays them all
And then they all slowly make their way down the hill
And so then we're like going
So the pool is about 10 feet from the house
And it's protected
So we like one at a time
Well Jared is like
Hosing the pigs to keep them
Because if he stops hosing they come back up
To get to the birdseed
Hold on, I have a question on this
Had any moment in time
When you were spraying with the hose
Did anybody decide
To just grab the birdseed
And just throw it over the hill
We did that
So after we sprayed the pigs down the hill
My grandma was going
Alex, stop it
He's like
And then he rolls down the hill
And it gets caught on a tree
Wait, wait, wait
Literally, and it gets caught on a tree
Halfway down the hill
So they're like at the birdseed
Halfway down the hill
So we may get to the pool deck
One or two at a time
This is all to get to the pool
Now we're on the pool
So the entire time we're in the pool
We can hear the pigs growling
Like outside the fence
And then
Anytime anybody had to use the bathroom
Somebody would have to stand guard with the hose
And spray them back down the hill
Were you scared the pigs would attack you if you came out?
Dude, these things are vicious
I'll send you a video in a second
I want to hear the noises
Oh yeah, it's wild, it's crazy
Send them, let's go
And that was the same night that we saw scorpions
And we also saw the tarantulas
You know what, fuck Arizona
I just want you to know there's scorpions
But the entire time we're swimming
There's scorpions that live in Arizona
That you can only find
With UV lights
And they're very, very small
And they're very, very poisonous
Yep, yep, yep, yep
And then there's people that go out at night
To do this job
To milk them
They milk them?
Wait, can you back up
What animal is poisonous? Like crazy?
There is a scorpion
In Arizona
It's very small
It's like crazy deadly?
It's super deadly
But like, people go
You can only see them via like a UV light
Really?
And what about them?
They're just very poisonous
You said people go out and milk them?
That's what you do, yeah
For venom? You milk them
Why do you want the venom?
Can you tell me what they're called?
Just look up UV light
Scorpion deadly shit
Don't write deadly shit, but
You could do deadly, that might help
Keywords
I don't know what they're called, but I know they're scorpions
I got some visuals for you here when you're ready
Ask a biologist
Yeah, see
Buy a UV light to look for scorpions
What?
These guys? They glow
So it's not that they're not visible
But they only come out at night and you need
You can see them during the day
But it's easier to see them
But it's easier to see them at night with a UV light
Bark scorpion
There it is
Okay, go down
I want to look at that spider
I don't want to do this
Look at it, look at it, look at it, purple
I don't want to
Yeah
That's a fake picture
That's a visual art
You said visual art
Yeah, they're
Look at barks, look at barks
Scorpion
And then, like
Not the image, but like
How deadly they are
The only reason why I know this
Is because I used to watch dirty jobs
A lot
Because I thought it was a good show
But
Like, he went out and did all this too
He had to snatch them up by like
With like little pinchers
And you got to get them by the pincher
Because they fucking kill you
Yeah
What's that mean?
Hmm
Painful
Potential deadly venom of an Amazon scorpion
Stick little effect on grasshopper mice
Scientists have found
Scorpion tux in the X-Lite can
Anal
Sorry, what about the anus?
Oh, that said that
What about the anus?
Jisic? Write that down, what about the anus?
No, Tyler
Do we have one that says put it in your your anus?
Stop
Anyways, alright continue
Let's see what these are
Okay, so start at the bottom one
This was the pig that came during this
Holy shit
They're called hovelinas with a J
Hovelina
Yeah, you pronounce it, it's hovelina
So, yeah, that's kind of
Big and kind of creepy, but yeah, if it had tusks
It would be even more terrifying
Oh, that's true, we don't have tusks
Yeah, because the boars have tusks
There were some baby ones too, so once the entire group came
There were like pigs
Baby pigs that could fit under that pig
That could have been a bark
That could have been a bark scorpion
Yeah, so now, yeah
This is when they all came back later that night
They look very scared to me
No, my god, this is gonna try on that shoe
My shoe, mister
I like my socks
It just takes off a bit
Mm-hmm
They're fighting
Everybody from third brush
Everybody, come on, come on
This is what I heard when we were living
Here
I know, I was like, oh my god
I'm glad you didn't shove one
Jesus
Yeah, when there's Jared with the broom
That's like a whole pack of people
Yeah, we counted
You should have led with this story, Tyler
You shall not pass
Yeah, I know that guy
One of the rings
This is gonna be like one robe
You're causing him to fight
They're already fighting each other for the food
I know, but don't make it worse
I can't control the infighting
Your grandma's always like
I told you, I know
Don't hurt the pigs
You need a longer stick
That's the end
I don't know if you've circled by the bull
I bet you five bucks
If you just ran out there and just scared them
Hardcore, they would just run
I think you're right
Yeah, just no one wanted to get bit
Or something, get rabies or something
Does that make sense? Do they have rabies?
I would assume
You don't know though
Alright, Tyler, is that it?
Yeah, one more for you
One more, then we're gonna wrap
I don't know what I want to do
I might want to keep this phone
Sending, and there's a scorpion
We saw one of them
And then a second one came up
This is us enjoying your rice
Your rice?
Mike, you make rice?
Wait, you're gonna tell them about the rice
I think
I
I don't understand this
What?
It's Mike's rice, we got some rice
I got banging rice, Tyler has had it
And he bought a pack when he was down there
I bought three packs
What is it? It's just rice, good rice
It's really good
My grandma, you know what she bought?
Instant rice, like in rich
Were those pans on the stove Teflon coated?
Yeah, but it's a rental
There was a cast iron
Most rentals have like
Stainless
I'm surprised I had a pressure cooker
That's true, we were very happy about that
It was a great point
It was like an Instant Pot Pro
Oh, Pro
It's a digital screen and you cycle through this
I'm gonna get the pro version of the little one
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go
I gotta ask you something after we stop
Yeah, dude, what's up?
Final thoughts, Terry
Final thoughts, Tyler
Oh, no, vote for me
Vote for me, people
Also, we didn't plug our donation
But whatever
Is this non-copyrighted music?
Is it a donation for dyslexic people?
Yes, could be for whatever you want
I'm gonna play this music again
Is it copyright free?
But there is a donate button
Alright, Terry, final thoughts
Technically, this is a copy-free
But if you want to
You can press the donate button
If you use a podcasting 2.0 app
Check this out
The back half of this podcast was bigger
Check this out, you should have left with that story
I told you, you should have left with that story
I just want you to know
If you always have a story, lead with it
So if you listen to our podcast
In a compatible 2.0 app
You can hit the donate button
In the app
And it automatically sends you to
A site where you can give us money
Wow, have you gotten any money yet?
I don't know, that's Terry
No
To answer your question
I just want you to know
If it says first to donate
It means no one has donated
Be the first one to support there's no audience
Which means no one has donated
We want your money
We're poor
But if you'd like to donate, please donate
Mike's about to buy an Instant Pot Pro
He's loaded
Mike's poor, we're using our sponsor money
That we don't have
We couldn't find a decent pump for the Air mattress last minute
That sounds like a personal problem with Mike
Dang, the back half of this podcast is bigger
Did you fart again?
Yeah
Thanks for watching out