Yeah, man. Yeah, I really thought you were alive. Yeah. Don't worry. It's in there. Don't
worry. Don't worry. It's in there. It's in there. You'll see it. See the little symbols
right there. I know. Oh, yeah. Hey, I know it's in there. It's not a title right there
off the rim. It's in there. It's in there. Don't worry. It's in there. Don't worry.
It's too long. No, no, no, no. Really write more than just like a brief, like quick thing.
Don't worry. It's in there. Do you are you retarded? I mean, no, no. Did you know? Did
you know I said I didn't plug in? Did you know that a title has to be like short and
concise? You can't have like a mile long title. It's not that mile long. Don't worry.
It's in there. Don't worry. It's in there. Five words is too many. It needs to be like
two or three words. I don't know. Banger. Like a black like a top like skinny ankles.
It has to be. See like, I mean, look, I'll tell you. Okay. I'll tell you our previous
titles. The thing is, the reason we were talking about, uh, he's, he's, he's giving
me one of his drills. He's giving me a drill. He's going to drill me later. Why is this
not any bag of black beans? See that was pushing it for me. Combined one word, extra tips together
three. It's the hot sauce for they're all pre recorded for push force pushing on the
drizzler. Three. You just read. You just read three. The dry bits. Goo-hoo. Gaga bitch.
Meat missile. Rip it off. Burn bright. Die young. Yeah. Three. Four is a max. Two or
three is ideal. God speed. Starliner. Speaking of Starliner, those guys are still trapped
on the international space station. I heard that they're not coming back until like next
year. They're still stuck. Yeah. We're all like celebrating their launch. Like, yeah.
And another fucked. Dude, that's, that's, that's wild to me that they are stuck. Controversy.
Why, why are they? Why is a fuck is this in French? Uh oh. I done fucked up. I don't
know how to fix this. You changed your language to French. I think we changed the language
to French. You did on your whole, on your whole computer. No, just on, uh, on, uh, RSS.
In French. And I don't know how to speak it. Wait. On, on the website. I don't know how
to change. I don't know what language this is. Why did you change it? I didn't change
it. I think it just automatically changed or I'm on a different website. That's, that's
explicitly. Is this, is this Chinese? What is this? No, it can't be. Let me try French
really fast. I think it's because it says if I type in, oh wait, I have an idea. Seems
like Spanish to me. I have an idea because it says public. Oh, but I hope someone didn't
log onto our thing. I hope not. Oh, it's Italian. Why is it changed? Doesn't that make you
concerned here that someone logged into our shit and changed it? Yeah. Or I accidentally
changed it and I don't know how I did it. Was it today? Or just recently happened. It's,
it's Italian. Uh oh. Someone in Italy hacked our shit. Oh no. Who wants to hack our shit?
It's not even that great. Look up that email and see if someone, we got like a warning.
Yeah, hold on. Let me see if I can change this. They didn't change our password. No,
we have a complex password. There's no way they were able to get on our shit. Yeah, there's
no way you would have done it though. Yeah. I think you would have known. Yeah. If you
would have done it. Yeah. Something's, something's a ride. Something's, something's a miss.
My podcast. Oh no. I don't know how to change. How do I, is that English or is that new F?
Hey, we fixed it folks. Yeah, we're back. We didn't do anything. Yeah. Oh dude, we're
banging up man. July we got. Banging up. We're banging up. That's another one. We're banging
up. Dude, we've got to, we got to in July, we got to 500 in 500 in shit. 524 downloads.
People fucking love us dude. Dude, we're ripping during the fucking later half of this year.
They're giving us coffee money yet? Yeah. No, because of fucking things probably broke.
You got to do your, your plug at the beginning of the show. Remember beginning and end. You
got to pull it. Do I? Oh, we run off the support of our fans. Value for value. Please send
us money. Value for value. Do that way. We provide value with our podcast and you send
it back to us and form a coffee. Yes. And Terry doesn't care. I don't care about coffee.
He just drinks that shit. No, it's called a shout out. If you send Terry coffee money,
he'll buy coffee and he won't die from sugar poisoning. Right now he should drink some
red bull sugar drink. Yep. I need it. Why do you go? Why do you revert back to your DJ
and ways? I thought we fixed you. I thought we fixed you. What happened to your, what's
it called? That red, the orange, the silver can? Oh, guru. Guru. What did you guys say?
What did you say? Fluffa. Fluffa. Wait, you don't like it anymore? I like guru. But why
are you drinking this shit? Oh man. This site blocks VPNs. What site? Fucking buy me a coffee.
A lot of financial websites. It's really annoying. Sluts. They don't want anyone to have privacy.
Why can't we have privacy in this world? They hate you. Tell me, tell me. It's because
they hate us. I'm a chameleon. We should not use it. We shouldn't use websites that don't
support privacy. Okay. What kind of privacy sites do you want to use? Don't know. What
kind of privacy do you want? I don't use all these bullshit fiat companies. So I don't
know who's a fiat. Like a fiat, like a, like a, like a no one supported us. Thanks guys.
Appreciate you. So no one supported. Hold on. No supporters, but shout out to everybody
that has supported. Dude, I don't think the link works. That's the issue. What do you
mean? Because every time that we click on it, like view my page, like you can, you can get
the, you get it, you get the link, but then when you go to it, like if you go to the RSS
feed, and then you go to our page, which it's always on our main page, my podcast, our public
website, you go to the public website and you can go into the, the, the recent episode,
which is a 126 skinny ankles. Good plug. All right. And then you click it. You click
the thing and then it goes, Oh, it works. Never mind. Cause last couple of times I said
four or four. I don't even know what you're talking about. Oh, the link to our buy me
a coffee page. If you give us a dollar, we'll give you a shout out. Oh, it was giving you
if you go straight from the link, it was a four or four. Now it works. But now it works.
Okay. But yeah, if you want to support us, give us a dollar and then we'll shout you
out. So I uh, resubscribe to Netflix. Oh no. The other day, just so I could watch a Joe
Rogan special thing. Um, and I wanted to share a couple things that I've watched with you.
Okay. That I think you'll like. Okay. Bring it in. So just to preface this, I literally
was just filming my TV on with my phone filming. I was in so you can see the bit. Oh, I was
filming my TV as I watch on my phone. And so I wanted to give you video. And so I did
it that way. I could have gotten better audio quality, but I chose to prioritize your viewing
pleasure. My viewing. Could I please show you this? Oh, of course you may. Okay. Is this
copyrighted? I don't fucking care. Who cares? We're going to jail. I've got three, three.
Um, we're going to jail anyways. Uh, I got three videos, three videos. Okay. Damn. That's
some good shit. How's the audio quality? That's the real. Okay. Let's just see how
this goes. I got three of them. Okay. Okay. I can't remember which one's which. I'll just
go in order. Oh fuck. Hey, hey, stand by every fucking time. If I had a looking computer that
was always here set up, it wouldn't like obviously I'm buying another just buy another MacBook.
I'm not doing that. You know what you could do is buy another MacBook mini Mac mini do
another Mac mini. Leave it there. Just set it up here. Always connected and then have
a little keyboard or the, but I have to have like a monitor. You can get a second one.
A monitor. That'd be your main monitor and have a little monitor. Oh, just completely
drive off one monitor, but then I have to sit there because I wouldn't want to like turn
my head over. But also, but that could just be the main monitor that that's what I just
fucking said. I could run a keyboard and mouse cables under the table to here and I could
sit that way. Yeah, I'd have to sit there because I wouldn't want to like constantly
turn fine. And then and then you can get an like a Elgato stream deck and then you can
put all your little buttons close to you. Like set it up and then I can stop my buttons.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Can I just say that's probably the best idea I ever
had. I don't know that you even knew who David Lucas was. Yes. But I just want to say you're
welcome for that. Oh, yeah. David Lucas one. Oh, yeah. No, do the yeah. No, David Lucas
one. You can go yourself. David Lucas. Yeah. You're welcome for that shit. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm just saying like if you did it over there, you can have the like your stream
deck and then you can have like all your buttons like what is that you do? What is it that
you do exactly? What is it that you do exactly? I think I can I can I have his voice. Wait,
wait, you're going to say it and then I'm going to play it. No, because stand by this
last time I didn't work. Nope, you're going to do it. Okay. Stand by. I'm just going to
keep laughing. Stand by. Alright. Stand by. And we're standing. What do you do here?
Okay, so I'm going to give you the words and then you have to say can you give me the
words? I just said I said I'm going to give you the words. What is it you get paid? What
is it you get paid to do exactly? Wait, hold on. Hey, I actually get to use this now. What
what what what is is it it you you get get paid paid to do to do exactly. Question mark.
I don't know how I spell exactly ex ac TL I ellips doesn't matter you know what the
word is. Alright, you go first and then I'll play it. And we'll see how close you because
you have to do it before you hear it so you can see how we can see how good you are off
the cuff. Alright, take one. This is Terry as an actor. This is Terry acts. Terry acts.
What is it? I know I'm just saying what is it you get paid to do do exactly. Yeah. Say
it a couple times and then warm up and you got it on the final time you got to really
nail that. What is it you do? Oh, see, you have to get the actual script to do here.
Wrong. Terry, you literally wrote it down. I know, but I want to add that one. I want
to add some spice to it. What do you have to say? Do you exactly? You have to say the
words you can't what is it? What is it you get paid to do exactly? What is it you get
paid to do exactly? What is it you get paid to do exactly? I need a little more flavor.
I know. I know. I'm just trying to like not look at the paper while I do this. What is
it you get paid to do exactly? Alright, don't look at me. What is it you get paid to do
exactly? That's it. That's it. I think I got that's a good. That's a good. What is it you
get paid to do exactly? There's there's a lot more is in it. What is it you get paid
to do exactly? What is it you get paid to do exactly? Nailed it. Okay, folks. And that's
another that's another episode of Terry acts. Is that a new ongoing segment? Sure. Oh, wait,
so I nail it. I'll say I nailed it. What give me a rating out of one to 10. Seven. I wouldn't
give it more than a seven. Alright, let's see. When did you get paid to do? Am I not
plugged in? Oh, dude. Why did you get paid to do exactly? Is that coming through your
speakers? Where? Just reading a book. Sounds like a little bit. Okay, okay. I have. We
got to we got to just so I resubscribe to Netflix for one month, just so I could listen to this
and I'll watch another shit to I have it. But because I was just curious because it's
all to hullabaloo about it. And I have three clips from Joe Rogan's new special. And I
thought they were made. They were great for Terry. I got a question for you. Yes. If
you have Netflix, why don't you just timestamped it? Because I'm not because hey, hey, because
I'm retarded. I have a story. Hold on before you show this video. I have a story about
me saying the R word to two people that at work that I enjoy hanging out with. And one
of them got mad. Well, I was like, the boss, someone asked me to do something to one of
them was drew and one of them was someone else. And and for you saying the R word a
bunch of times, it got into my head. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, yeah, you're getting
like ingrained in your mind. Then all of a sudden, Drew asked me to do something to
like make something more popped out for. You said, what am I retarded? And I said, because
it was like one of our like regionals. I was like, man, that dude is R worded. And I said
the hard R and I was like, oh, shit. And they both looked at me and they're like, and then
Drew's like, Mike's really rubbing off on you, huh? And then the other like the other
way, hold on. The other the other person was that makes me so happy. The other person was
a trying I'm trying to keep the person a secret confidential. Yeah. I'm gonna be so happy.
The other person was don't do drugs, folks. The top person. Don't say don't say don't
say the name. Yeah, yeah. The one that you met. I could just said that the one that you
met during 4th of July. So I'm not retarded. Yeah, yeah, I am. Okay, continue. But they
were in that room. And I was like, Oh, shit. And I was like, I felt so bad when I said
it. Did they report you? No, they didn't report me. But I felt so bad when I said it. I was
like, Oh, I'm sorry. She's like, she's like, uh, uh, she's, she's looking at me and I'm
like, I'm so sorry. I was like, Mike's really rubbing off on me. Right? Wait, Drew goes,
Mike's really rubbing off on you. And you're like, Mike's really rubbing off on me. It
was like, Mike. Yeah. So Drew blamed me and then you blamed me. Yeah, that's fucked up.
All right. But it is what it is. That's a great story, actually. Yeah. All right. I
also haven't. Oh yeah, go ahead and play. Here we go. I have another story. Cool. It's
not later. It's a it's a not cool story. Is it? It's very short. Go for it. It's one
of those, you know, those stories that you tell, I tell personally that are not that
cool, but I think it's cool. Okay. Is it like when you're like, when I'm stupid, like five
second car story where you like some guy pissed you off? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not really
that. Go for it. Um, so it's one of my stupid stories that don't really go anywhere. And
it's not really like the greatest thing in the world. I need a fidget toy. I have a fidget
toy. It's called a pen. Spin it with my fingers. I'll wait until you come back. So I can tell
you my story. Oh, he's, he's running. I don't know where he's running to, but he's running
somewhere. A nice coffin. Oh, there he goes. He's coming back. Yeah, I just spin pens.
Okay, go. Okay. So I was driving. Go for it. I feel like that pen's gonna annoy me.
Yeah. Go for it. Okay. No, I saw this guy on the side of the road and on the way here,
on the way here, and I was just standing or walking walking. He's walking. He's walking.
The guy that normally walks around here. No, some long hair guy, some guy different. There's
a guy that around here I know who will like walks a lot different city. Got it. Um, this
guy's this guy's walking and all I see is on the highway or like a normal sidewalk. So
not the highway, not the highway. He's just walking around and all I see is his hands
doing this, like, like waving back and forth. Like he's like orchestrated. You told the story.
You told the story. No, this is a different one. Wasn't it like a couple years ago, you
told the story of a guy like pretending he was like Harry Potter with a wand down in
like a town, downtown somewhere. This is how I remember that. Maybe. Okay, go ahead. Not
the same guy. Got it. But if I did, this is the exact same story. Go for it. This guy's
the same guy. It could be. I don't know. I just saw him doing the same old shit. He's
just over there like, he's walking like he's like, looks like he's orchestrated in an orchestra.
He's being the conductor to the orchestra. He's just doing this and I was like, what
in my head is go when Goddy and love Yosa, he's doing this shit. And I was like, Oh,
he's Harry Potter. He's got like a wand and stuff. You literally told this story. I did
a year and a half ago. I don't remember this. If someone could pull it up, I would love
it. Because I was downtown on your way here. One day you were like driving through downtown
and you're like, I saw a guy downtown and he was just like doing weird ass shit. I saw
it. I literally told that story. Damn. That's crazy. That's crazy. Could be the same person.
Show you. Let me show you your wet bulb. I'll show you a wet bulb. Anyway, the code is I'll
show you my wet bulb. My wet bulb. Yeah, I'll show you my wet bulb. Okay. I didn't even know
it was. That's crazy. You ready for this? Yeah, I remember that guy from downtown. I remember
that also I had another one too. There's a couple people that I see that there'll be
one person sitting at the side of like an intersection, not even crossing a crosswalk.
Just like a drug addict standing there. I don't know if they are. They just look like
they're having a lot of fun. They're just standing. They're just standing there. Just just vibing
to whatever they're vibing to like they're just dancing on the side of the road. Just
vibing. Just at a sidewalk. Just vibing. Occasionally during the summer, there will be a guy outside
the grocery store. Which one? Oh, when I go to. Yeah. Yeah.
Which one? Which one? The only one I would know because the only one I go to.
True. He does. He's like across the street by the gas station. Uh huh. And like he's
playing when I can't remember what it's called. An accordion. I think so. That thing like
a lady in the tramp. It's an accordion. From Lady in the Tramp. Yeah, it's an accordion.
Yeah. So he's playing an accordion. He's actually a fucking great at it. Uh huh. But he's vibing.
He's like a Mexican dude and he's vibing. He's banging at it. He's hella good. Yeah.
I think accordions are the ones that are like slinkies. Yeah. Yeah. And it's got little
keys on the side. Yeah. Yeah. He's doing that. He's rocking dude. I paid that dude a hell
of money. They do? Oh, multiple times. Yeah. For real? Like 10 bucks. Couple times. Accord.
But he's like, you know how people stand outside of, uh, like by the stop light at a grocery
store or something. And they're like, Sam, I'm homeless. Please give me money. You know
those people? Uh huh. So this guy is doing that kind of thing. But he's like playing
beautiful, serenading music. And so it's like, I'm actually inclined to give him money because
he's actually serenading me as I walk to my car from the grocery store. And I really appreciate
that. Uh, an accordion is from the 19th century German. That's what originated. Accord. Hold
on. Maybe backup fellas and ladies. Welcome to another segment of Terry Speaks accordions
from the 19th century. German accordion. German German accordion. But it's spelled differently.
It's about a K K O R D E O N accordion. Got it. Got it from a chord. Musical cord. Conchord of
sounds. A family of box shaped musical instruments of the bellows driven free read. Aero phone type.
This is a lot of words. Okay, cool. That's all you know. We're good. Are you ready? They're
about between $350 and $2,000. You want to play? No. But funny story. I had, I've been actually
wanting to learn how to do a Rubik's cube ever since telling me that story. We made it into Canada.
Anyways, we made it into Canada. Great. Funny thing that you're talking about, like, you know,
we are saying like when people are homeless and everything and they have like the will do anything
for work, they have a sign and it says I'm homeless. Hard times. Please. I'm hungry. My family's hungry.
We need money. I don't ever give them money. So you know, you know, I only do it if they're playing
banging music. So I went to Costco. That's towards the bridge. Why don't why we're why we are this way?
They're like, why are we being descriptive? We should be proud. We should be proud where we live.
Well, we live, we live, see, we live outside of Seattle. We've already talked about this. We have.
Yeah, we do. You know what? If we wanted to be successful, we should make this podcast like
about our area. Okay, because do we just bombshell where we live? Bombshell. I'm down. I'll say we're
counting we live in. Yeah. How about that? Okay, they'll never find us. They don't know our last names.
All right. So you were about the Costco. Okay. Yeah, I was about I was at Costco in Pierce County.
See, that's not giving anything away. No, go ahead. I live in Kitsap County. Go ahead.
Go ahead. So you're at Costco. So I was at Costco in Pierce County. Why don't we just use counties?
I was at the southern county. Cross County lands. I was over in Tacoma. All right. Well,
you're at Costco. Tell the story, please. I'm fucking bored. Yeah. Yeah. So I was at Costco and I was leaving.
I don't really like Costco membership. I do your own. No, got it. I got it. That's right.
Yeah. And then I was over there too. I was like, Oh, man, he really switched to credit union
because so you were at Costco. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What were you getting? Tell us that first. No,
I was just giving you the general area where I was at Costco. I was leaving. I was going back home.
What did you buy? What did I buy?
Okay. Chicken salad sandwich, some gluten free bread, some ice cream, variety ice creams.
I'm sorry. Variety ice creams. I don't know what that is. Don't care. Go ahead. Like drumsticks,
drumsticks. It's for my team, not for literally me. Go ahead. And then
eggs and some butter. Got it. Okay. That's all I bought. Cool. Left. What kind of butter?
The Kirkland one. The grass fed one. Yeah. 100 freaking percent.
So you know how like they have the roundabouts there? So you exit, you go through the first one,
and you exit, and you go to the second one on the middle one. Essentially, it's the only middle one.
Got it. So I'm standing there. It's right next to that Starbucks on the right. Got it. Where
Target is. Got it. Okay. So I'm waiting to go because fucking... Tell me where to go. Tell me
where to go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go ahead. Anyways, and then I'm seeing this family across from me.
In a car? No. Outside the car. Why? Nope. Just standing there.
Oh, that's great. That's great content. Go ahead. Just sitting there and then the husband.
Sitting outside the Starbucks? They're on the corner where the sidewalk is.
Sitting on the sidewalk? Sitting on the sidewalk. It's a family? It's a family. Okay. Sitting right
next to a Starbucks? Did I have science? On that corner where all the cars are going around.
They have science. And I'm hungry. They have a sign says, Oh, no. I lost my job. Hard times.
And the whole family's out there? The whole family's there. But the funny thing about it is
the place that they are sitting, the place that they're at is like a very... More wealthy. More
wealthy side of town. Yeah. And not wealthy, but like better off. Better, higher middle class.
Doing better than most probably. And I'm just watching them. The mom is sitting down with the
children. There's two of them. They're fucking just slapping down some food. And I don't know...
Where the kids are just like smashing some food? Oh, the kid, the mom. But like they just got
given food maybe? Yeah. But the funny thing about it is, is that every single one of them is dressed.
Nice. Nice. Yeah. That's questionable. Although, I mean, maybe that makes sense. If you just lost
your job, like you still have good clothes. Yeah. But it also just like... Hey, how about this?
Instead of doing that, just get a lower paying job. Yeah. Like figure it out. There's so many
people that those... What do they call hecklers? What are they called? Hecklers? I think they're
called hecklers. No, hecklers are people that yell and bother you. Yeah. What are they called? Beggars?
Are they called? The name for the people asking for money? Yeah. They call beggars. I mean... What
are they called? Homeless beggars? Homeless? Is there like a more official term for them? Beggars?
I think. Look up synonyms. Synonyms? A beggar. Should... Yeah. A beggar. What are synonyms with beggar?
Synonyms. Do you know what synonym means? How much does a homeless person make a year?
All right. Let's look that up. No, no, no. Panhandlers. Okay. So we got panhandlers.
Panhandlers. Okay. So pan... Where are you going with this, Terry? Anyways, there's some people that are...
What's the difference between pan versus homeless? Panhandlers can make... Panhandlers are when
someone asks strangers for money while homeless is a border term that includes many... A border term?
Yeah. A broader term. Sorry. A broader term and includes many different circumstances. So
panhandlers. So this guy was a panhandler? This guy was a panhandler. Okay. But panhandlers can make
a shit ton of money. So you were surprised because they were like nice looking? I was surprised.
Not run down. Correct. So they're just like on the early stages of being panhandlers, maybe?
Maybe. You didn't give them any money? Fuck no. Did you wave? Were they playing an instrument?
No. See, I think that's the way to do it is show off your skill. That way, at least you're not just
getting money for free, but you're actually performing a service. Yeah. It says panhandlers,
beggars who approach people in public spaces such as bangs, parking lots, off-ramps, ask for money.
Some studies suggest that panhandlers can make two to $300 a day, but others say that most panhandlers
use the money to support addictions to drugs and alcohol. However, not all panhandlers are
homeless and some studies suggest that few panhandlers regularly sleep outside. Yeah. And
probably they're just getting cash and not reporting it to the IRS. So it's like tax free.
Yeah, dude. They're just like, because most of the time, most of the time, the panhandlers get
money. It's not a they're just immediately like buy. They're not like, Oh, do you have Venmo?
You're right. And they're not going to go deposit in a fucking bank either. No, they're just going
to go buy a fucking McDonald's sandwich. But I yeah, most of the time is like, I've seen some
people that are they look they look they they make themselves look presentable, no sketchy.
Oh, to make them seem like a panhandler. And then like, you go home and shower, you go you go,
you look at them, you go, are you really homeless? Are you really homeless? And then you go, you
know, you drive a little bit further down the road and you see like a car that you think it's
just a car park. It's just them car. Yeah, it's just a car parked on the side of the road.
Yeah, I've given someone money. Someone was at a gas station. And it was like, can I get get
I get some gas. I was like, sure. And I give him like 15 bucks worth of gas. That was about the
only time I've given some money. I've given actually, that's not true. I've given some
people some money but not like I've given someone like 10 bucks. I think I gave the
according guy like 10 bucks couple of years ago. Don't really go any higher than that.
All right, you ready for this? Sure.
And you're at home just reading a book waiting for my man.
And he comes to the door.
I'm not going to fucking believe what happened.
What happened?
You see Mike trick me second is the game.
This whole bit is that his like after like he was talking about how like
no no one believes that girls are lesbian or something or like no one thinks that's real.
They just think they're like bisexual or whatever. And then he's like, but if it's like dudes,
everyone believes him.
And I just thought it's funny because it's Mike.
No.
It's true.
I just thought that was her layers.
Because it was like Mike's sucking my dick. That's a good quote. Like towards the end of that.
That's a good joke. Like what's saying like you should have equal like jokes about either or.
You know what I'm saying? All right, here we go. Number two.
I think you see where this is going.
He has to know how you really feel.
I just like dude, he said some shit on here like just on Netflix. I was like,
yes, brother preach. He's retarded. Faggot. Like it's great.
Can you put that one again?
If you're a good person, if you're talking to a child that is a developmental disorder,
you would never dream of using that word, right? But if you're talking to a regular grown man.
You.
Dude, he really exercises on that. That's what I love about him is he like when it's time to
fucking go deep, he just like fucking emphasizes that shit hard. Like I don't make no mistake.
I don't understand why people don't really like what he just said in that joke is exactly what I
was explaining to Drew. I wouldn't call a mentally challenged person retarded, but you.
You I would call retarded.
It doesn't everyone knows what I mean. All right, last one. What is it you do?
You're stupid. What is it you get paid to do here? Exactly. What is it you get paid to do?
Exactly. That's going to hurt someone's ears. I don't care. Okay. Last video. Let's go. That's
fine. And then I can turn that shit down. Oh, I need to send you my stand by stand by. Watch this
shit. Last clip. Copy copy. And then he hits me with this. If you've ever been randomly selected,
you know, this is what they do. He goes, I'm gonna. This is a throwback to our experiences on our
trips. Okay. I'm going to start it again. I found the ones that you I thought would be a
political retarded Mike second dick or you second Mike's dick or whatever the fuck you said. And
then this last one is getting more more relatable content for you for this is randomly for us.
For us. This is called random selection. Okay. If you've ever been randomly selected, you know,
this is what they do. He goes, I'm gonna roll the back of my hand against your crotch. I'm in
randomly selected a lot somehow. Wait, hold on. You know what that means? I just have a big dick.
That's all it means. Okay, all right. If you've ever been randomly selected, you know, this is
what they do. He goes, I'm gonna roll the back of my hand against your crotch. Remember, I'm really
high. So I'm like, why are you gonna use the back of your hand?
Is that the best way to do it? Hey, man, is that for you or for me? Because for me,
it still feels like you're touching my dick. You're just doing this weird dismissive way. It's just
a rude way to touch a dick, you know? It's like, you're a terrorist, I'll be the judge.
Just another dude whose dick I may feel weird. I mean, how many terrorists have they stopped with
that? Is it zero or is it negative number? Disrespectful motherfucker. The back of your hand
might be the worst way to figure out what the fuck's up is. Like you ain't getting no good data.
Why are you touching dicks like that? I'll tell you why, folks, because it's our government solution
to a complex problem, which is how do you touch dicks and not be gay?
And they're like, I got it. We're gonna use the back of our hand. It's no counties.
They're no counties.
Is it war? Yeah, try it on me. I can't even call.
Just shut up, folks. Don't get nerds.
All right, that's it, folks. Shout out. That's pretty good. That's, you know, that is, that is
pretty true, though. I mean, I found, I found like the most funny ones that like applied. So you're
welcome. Thanks, dude. Appreciate you. Hell yeah. The funny thing about that is it's like,
it's absolutely true, though. Yeah, I like that because we both recently had our dicks touch.
Yeah, I always somehow when I always travel, remember, I it happened to me first and you
were giving me so much shit and then it immediately happened to you like two times after that.
Fucking bitch. Oh yeah, it was like on the way. I got I got it. And then on the way back, like
you got it like twice or something. I wasn't it? No, what it was is
yeah, it was at least once it was when we went down the Austin, I you got touched on the way down
on the way down and then I got touched at least once at least once coming back up. No, I did get
touched coming back up. Yeah, for sure. And then when we went to California, I also got touch.
That's right. That's right. And I didn't. And I said, haha. And I was like, what is going on here?
Like, and the funny thing about it is when you turn around, it it it shows like a human silhouette
on their side to stop you. And it just pinpoints like right where my crotch is every time.
Overlock a little mark, like where the thing might be. If you look, it tells you it gives you
like it gives you like a red spot like a signature where they should check where they should check.
Yes. And every single time it's like, it's like the your thigh right between your ball sack and
your leg. It's always between my fucking growing man. Every time they want to touch me. And they're
like, I'm going to touch you. And I'm like, cool, man. Do you want a room? No, we're just going to
do it right here right now. Is that is that we were talking about like when we went to Austin?
Yeah. He's like, do you want to do this in the room right here? Like, we're doing this right here,
motherfucker. Have you ever seen like those people that wear those shirts?
Uh, they have like TSA. It's like if TSA touches me, it's not gay.
They wear it through TSA. Yeah, they wear it through TSA. And then they get touched by TSA.
Because they have that shirt. Because they have that shirt.
They should, I should wear a shirt that says if TSA touches me, it's because we're both gay.
I'd wear that shirt to like, or it's like,
if no, no, no, TSA loves touching balls. If TSA touches me, it's because he's gay.
It's because they're gay. Or no, it's, hey, I'm gay. Touch my balls.
No, it's a TSA. Hey TSA, I'm gay. Please touch my balls.
You want to randomly check my balls? Hey TSA, I'm gay. Can you please randomly select my balls?
Randomly select my balls. No, that's too much. That's too much, isn't it?
You think randomly select my balls? Oh, I can't write.
Great. Ran. Dude. I want to know what funny TSA t-shirts are out there. Funny, funny TSA shirts.
You've been randomly selecting. Oh, this one says it's not gay if it's TSA. I hope TSA
pats me down. TSAs. Oh, nope. Never mind. Oh, never mind. That says trans-aggressional sexual assault.
This is what TSA does. Don't worry. I'll put the balls on you on my end. Don't worry.
Yeah, put the balls on me. Yeah, put the balls on me. Oh, this one, this one's pretty good. This
one says this is fashion. This says hookers. You know those pie charts? The ones where they
circle each other. A Venn diagram? That's it. A pie chart is not a Venn diagram.
We compliment each other very nicely. I know. You're kind of retarded and then when you're
asking actual real life questions, I'm like, hey, that's the answer. Okay, this one says three
different things in this Venn diagram. It has hookers, doctors, and TSA agents.
You got to give it to me so I can put it up on the screen.
Just better. I love this stuff. I'm going to send it to you via a signal. Okay, buddy.
Yeah. It's there. Why don't I just airdrop? Because I can't airdrop a fucking link.
Sure, you can. Sure. But there it is. Wait, what? It's a link. It's a link to Amazon.
It just has the picture of A.co. I'm like, what the fuck is that? And then I realized that
obviously that's what that is. Yeah, it's a Venn diagram. If you want it, you can zoom in on it,
I think. You can like, yeah, there you go. So it's a Venn diagram. There's three parts. It's
hookers, doctors, and TSA agents. What hookers and TSA agents have in common, they require very
little training. And what doctors and TSA agents have in common, they both wear blue latex gloves.
And what all three of them have in common is hookers and doctors first.
Oh, hookers and doctors have in common are make more per hour than you do all day.
Okay. And then what all three of them have in common is get paid to touch a drunk. Shout out.
I bet you can see that coming. Actually, that's a good title. Get paid to touch a drunk. Too long.
Whatever, dude. I don't understand why you don't agree with me on that. I don't know. It's a title
it has to be short and to the point and draw your attention. Are you trying to capture people's
minds? Yeah. Get paid to touch your junk. Keep in mind, Terry. This is a podcast. People consume
podcasts on a podcast app. You there's not that much text that fills the screen. It's gonna,
it's gonna move. If it has to move, your title is too fucking long. That's my point.
Oh, I didn't know you're going out there. I didn't know. I didn't know that was the
fucking standpoint. That's the whole point, Terry. Oh, gotcha.
Oh, nice. I know we're all of them. I just don't know what this one is. Please stop it.
I know that one. I gotta get that.
Do you think Joe Biden's dead? Wait, is that mine? Is that me laughing? Yeah. I gotta get that.
I don't remember that. Why don't you remember that? I don't remember that. That's a dumb ass answer.
Wait, do you think Joe Biden's dead? I don't know, man. I haven't seen him in a long time.
Yeah. Hit it. He dropped out, didn't he? Yeah. That's that black chick. Kamala, Kamala Harris.
Kamala Harris. Kamala. It's like Kamala Olive. Kamala Harris. Yeah, her. Kamala. Kamala.
Kamala Kamala. Yeah, she's running now. I think she's gonna win.
I'm all down for equality and shit. Yeah, but she's kind of a bad person, isn't she?
I don't really like any of them. I don't really care. I hate every single...
Well, hold on. I shouldn't use the word hate. I dislike politicians. Politicians in general.
Yeah. So... Because they don't maintain the roads? Yeah. That's one big part. And that
I ever do... That one guy forgot his name. It was the guy that says,
what is it you get paid to do exactly? That was better. That guy.
Is anything the transportation dude? No. Who's the transportation bit? Pete Buttigieg.
Yeah, that guy. No, the guy who said that was... That was Pete. No. Pete? No, no, no. I'm gonna show
you Pete. What is he paid to do exactly? Not Tom Cotton. Josh Hawley. Josh Hawley is the dude.
Josh Hawley is the guy who said that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Josh Hawley, this is Josh
Hawley. He's like a Missouri senator. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah. Yeah. So this guy, please put the tab there. That's the guy who said your thing. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. And then this is the transportation. Yeah. Pete Buttigieg. But...
Edge. Edge. Is that really his name? It'll correct it. There you go. Buttigieg.
That's the transportation. Yeah, that guy's stupid. This is the guy who's responsible for all the roads.
But apparently... He's not doing a good job. Yeah, because man, wasn't it you trying to like
vie for his job a while ago? Yeah, I was trying to apply for it. You said you could do better than
him? Oh, 100%. Yeah. I don't need to go to Oxford to learn how to fucking maintain roads.
Pave that shit. Yeah. I just want to let you know Pete Buttigieg. That's who he's married to.
What? Yeah. For real? Yeah. Good for that guy. Look, Chris Chaston Buttigieg.
You sure that's not his brother? Oh, they're gay. Yeah, he's gay. Spouse. Oh, good for him.
They have two kids. How do you think that happened?
What is it you get paid to do exactly? Yeah. Good for that guy. Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't make fun of
him. But we're not making fun of him. We're making fun of his inability to make good roads and good
roundabouts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever the fuck you care about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just fucking...
Buttigieg. Buttigieg.
Buttigieg. Hold on. Buttigieg.
Buttigieg. Buttigieg. Yeah, that's this guy. We'll go for you, dude.
Mayor Pete redirects here. That's hilarious. Mayor Pete redirects here for documentary
film C.P. Mayor Pete. Hey, look, there's his husband. I didn't know there's a movie about him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for that man. I'm glad they have children.
I mean, they didn't have children. They have children. Oh. You know what I'm saying? Whoa.
That's not true. They could use the same... Having children. No.
No. But then only one of them is the dad, if you use a surrogate, right? They fuck the wife.
If they use a surrogate, just this is computer ignorance from my end. Yeah, same with me.
If they have a surrogate, like a lady who makes a baby for them, do they use both their giz or
just one giz? That's exactly... Or none of their giz. That's where exactly we're right at. And do
they do the giz-ing? Or is it like artificial in there? Like some with a surrender, some shit?
It would be artificial insemination. But, you know, like, get the giz, put the giz on like a
syringe and shoot it up there? Yeah. Okay. Are you sure? Yes. Okay. Because how a surrogate works
to my understanding... It's purely just in the womb carrying it. To my understanding is they take
the lady's egg from, let's just say, your significant other, and then they take your giz
and put it in someone else. And if it's gay dudes, they use the woman's egg because they
don't have their own eggs. Or do they get an egg from someone else they know and put it in there?
It could be... Maybe it depends. It could be if they found a donor that they wanted to use for...
She volunteered her egg. It could be that. She agreed for the giz to go into her.
Or it could have been like they wanted to find someone that was actually, you know,
smart, cunning, had a great smile, shit like that. Even though they're like, obviously those two are...
But it has to be one of their sperms. Yeah. I don't know if you can combine because I don't know
how well that would work. That'd be weird. Probably doesn't work. I don't know if you can combine
sperm. I really don't want to look that up. Me neither. That might be like a science experiment.
I don't think that's like physically possible to mix sperm. I don't think you can do that.
It has to be... A sperm is a sperm. You can't put two sperms together.
But sperms are... Hybrid sperms. Hybrid sperm. Attack of the hybrid sperms.
But you can't... That's a great show title. Attack of the hybrid too long.
But I don't know if you can combine sperm because it's just millions of little like
sperm. One of the dude sperms is going to get in there. But what if two of them act the exact same time?
Dude, imagine they both sperm. They mix the sperm and then there's like one sperm from the one guy
and one sperm from the other guy who are the last two sperms and they're fighting it out for the
last win and one gets defeated and they get the guy wins and pricks his egg. Okay, changing topics.
Let's stop talking about that. That's gross. It's just reproduction, bro. It's natural.
Do I think that... It's beautiful, actually. Do I think that...
Kamala? Is that Kamala Harris? Let's find out. I think it's Kamala Harris.
How about this, Terry? Let's find out. Let's find out. Yeah.
How to pronounce... 100 freaking percent. But I don't... Honestly, I don't want either or of them
in office, so it doesn't matter. Has nothing to do with her being a lady? She might be the next
US president, sir. Let's send her to say her name correctly. Kamala. That's...
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I don't know why I'm watching some Australian thing.
Especially from Guardian. She might be the next US president, so let's
send her to say her name correctly. Kamala. No, that's not it. That's not even close.
Kamala Harris has been in the presidential limelight since 2020. Trump has called her
unlikable and even called her this monster. But Pap is... That's great.
Unsettling is how he Pap is fully mispronouncing her name to make it sound more foreign. So,
don't be that person. It's Kamala Harris. It's kind of like Kamala plus law. It's not Pamela with
a K and it's not Tony Soprano's wife. Hi, everyone. It's Kamala Harris. Kamala. Kamala.
Calm. Kamala. It's not like Kamala. It's calm. Like com.com. Kamala. Kamala.
Kamala. Okay, I'm off to teach politicians what rap meets.
Right? She said she's gonna go teach people how to do rap meets. Kamala.
So, either or. It doesn't matter. Kamala Harris. I want to do one more. One more.
That's fine. Or Joe Biden. We are looking at how to pronounce the name of American lawyer
and politician serving as the junior United States senator from California. This is four years ago,
so it's all but. Staying lady. Onia since 2017. How do you go about pronouncing her name?
Her phone's name particular. Kamala. Kamala. Kamala. Kamala Harris. Kamala Harris. United
States senator. Jim Pesach. He is. This lady used to be the press secretary for Joe Biden.
I never know how to say this. Is it Pesach or Saki? You say the P or not.
We are looking at how to pronounce. I just kind of say I like this guy's voice. It's very nice.
This dude has 1.4 million viewers. This channel is just how to pronounce names probably.
It is.
Who serves as the 34th White House press secretary in the Biden administration.
We're going to be looking at how to pronounce more US politicians names as well.
How do you go about pronouncing it? Jen Saki. Saki. The P is. Oh, like the Japanese drink. Saki.
So Jen Pesach. Jen Saki. Pretty straightforward once you know. Jen Saki. And now you.
A lot of people make fun. This is the new press secretary. A lot of people don't like her until
they'll say because her name is Karine Jean Pierre. A lot of people make fun of her and go. Karine
Jean Claude Van Damme Pierre. Or Jean Pierre Van Damme or something. Jean Pierre Van Damme.
All right. But I don't Trump Trump or I just want to come.
Kamala Kamala. None of them. Kamala. I don't I don't want any of them. Kamala.
I don't I don't like any. There hasn't been like a single person in history that I know
that I would want in the White House. But you don't actually vote anyway. Do you?
I do. You vote. I vote. Really? Yeah. How do you know who to vote for?
I don't know. Just take a guess. I don't ever vote.
Wait. Take a guess. President. I just take a guess. I usually what I do. Do you remember who you
voted for? Some independent. Oh. That for president. It's usually mostly independence.
I don't think I've ever. Oh no. I've written in names before. I think I've written a bunch of names.
For president. I wrote in Mickey Mouse. Somebody I knew wrote in Mickey Mouse.
I thought a lot of people write Mickey Mouse usually gets like 2% votes somehow.
Really? Yeah. No way. Not 2%. It's probably like a small month.
Mickey Mouse does get voted for. Just imagine if Elmo was president.
It'd be creepy. You're telling me it was a hand puppet. Okay. A hand puppet?
They weren't in there running with this. Still one votes. Mickey Mouse. Ballot
Pedia. A lot of them will do that. Yeah. Party Reddins. Mickey Mouse was a 2016
writing candidate for president. Okay. But like does it say how much he got? Federal elections?
Do I have to like go here? I don't know. Okay. It goes to a denied message which means it's
in federally you can't. Nah. It's whatever. But I'm just saying like people.
They did not get 2% of the vote. It's like Harambe. Harambe got a lot.
But not like a meaningful amount. Dude, look it up. Like how much percentage Harambe got?
Reston B's Harambe. No, look at Harambe.
Okay. I don't know. That's how you spell it, sir. It is.
See? Like a real under the shine killer. That's just the news. I don't think he got any votes.
Harambe got votes, I think. Well, I'm sure a bunch of people got votes.
See, I think it should say. They should list here.
This is just main candidates. That's stupid. Where do I know that?
This is a statehood website.
Okay. Harambe. I got you. No, Harambe didn't get 11,000 votes for president.
And what an election. And in Georgia, it's not over yet. The pandemic may have made casting
a ballot a bit different this time around, but one thing remains the same. Some voters still see
the whole thing as Mickey Mouse out there somewhere with George Asgillot. It was a year where voting
seemed like a matter of life and death, an election like no other. Absolutely abnormal. Never seen
Why is your mask off? Anything. I just can't talk. Voters were not only navigating their ballots,
they were also maintaining social distances and the pandemic. What a scam. Thousands of voters
voting by mail for the first time. It was a lot to think about. Though this election was one for
the book. Hey, put your mask over your nose, bitch. One voting tradition did continue on.
And that is the mocking, farcical thumb in the eye voter who writes in still turned out.
We've told you about past elections where
Denzel Washington statements with a way to go back.
Go back. Yep. Stand by standing by.
Hey, dude, again. You got the elections where positive. You got then Desmond Thomas Denzel.
Oh, Denzel Washington two lines. These nuts are up there. Oh, yeah.
Don't care. Doug.
Okay, next slide. They wrote in Donald Trump. They wrote these nuts.
So, look at this. He misspelled Donald Duck. D O N L D Duck.
I think that's the best. Some people were somebody some people wrote in like the
do now duck. Oh, don't know. All right. Okay. Stop. God. Okay. Goofy, goofy,
coffee. Greg Marr was ghost. It Groot. Somebody voted Groot.
Oh, there's Harambe right there. Yeah, that's how to say that thing. Harambe is on there. There is.
Positive. Don't Jack Daniels.
Hustle love.
Hugh, Hugh C long to
Hugh C long. The second.
I don't know.
No. Jane Doe is on there.
Okay, continue.
Oh, those were good.
Wait, hold on. I had a question. Can you pause this? Do you think during when they were voting in 2020?
Do you think that? Oh, was it 2019?
A presidential?
It would be 2019.
No. Yes.
No, the elections in 2020 because the president gets sworn in at the beginning of 2021.
The election was in November of 2020. The primary started in 19.
Oh, got you. Okay. But in 20, because it's 2024, Terry. Yeah.
And the election is this November. Yeah, 2020 November. Every four years.
So in reality, do they only get like, I just farted. That's cool.
Do you think they wipe those screens off every time they used it?
For COVID? Yeah. Probably not. I don't think so.
Her mask is really off now.
Like, look at this thing. I don't want to smell it.
Is it stink? Oh, no. What have you been eating?
What have you been eating? Tell me about it. What did I eat? I don't know.
I had Thai food Friday evening. And then I had leftover Thai food yesterday for lunch.
I just wanted to ask you. So and then beans and rice, maybe.
Gotcha. I just want to let you know. Chicken.
Chicken. I had chicken. So shout out to everybody. I know we're going to segue really fast,
but and then we'll get back to the story. I just want to shout out to everybody that's listening
to the show. I'm not going to plug buy me a coffee, but if you do, I'll give you a shout out.
It's a dollar. What? Yeah, didn't plug it. See. No, but what did you say? Shout out to
everyone listening to the podcast? Yes, shout out. Is that the interruption you wanted to make?
Yeah. But no, I was looking at these. It gives us some statistics. And most of our statistics
saying that 91% of you have listened to on PC. I think those are bots. Probably. No one listens
to podcasts on a PC. Yeah. You read.
You have to say because those reports have been very amusing over the years. But this election
may have been deadly serious. However, not all the voters were. I know we had one vote for president
for the purple lizard king. I don't care. Pandemic pandemic. Not only am I voting, I'm getting some
of my old favorite back on the ballot. Mickey Mouse is always there. Donald Duck is always there.
Snoopy the dog is always a close third. And this year, I want to thank all of those who voted for me.
Me, as you say, is a good choice. Some just write down me. What if someone actually, what if someone
wrote me, a bunch of people wrote me, then they won. And then me one, which me, which wins. Who's me?
Who's me? I don't know. Great question. But if that's if that happened, this is probably what
will happen is that they do a recount and get rid of me. I mean, I think that's dis disqualifying
because it's not an actual person. I think it has to be a real person with a real name.
And obviously to win the presidency, you have to be an American citizen.
Yeah, I mean, you have to be. Yeah, it's born in America. That's required to 35.
So if it's me that that does not meet the requirement, you don't have to be born in
America. You just have to be an American citizen. You have to be born in America. Oh, for real?
Absolutely. Cool. For the president, you do. That makes more sense. Let's look it up. Let's
talk to the people. Let's show the people what they need. People don't fucking care about this
shit. Requirements to become president. Be president of the United States of America.
Usa. The Constitution lists only three or qualifications. Let's be at least 35 years
of age. Be a natural born citizen, meaning born in America, natural born, not just a citizen.
And must have lived in the United States for at least 14 years.
That's it, brother. Really? You're almost there.
Dude, I'm one year away. Two years away. A couple more years, brother. You'll be there.
Next, next, next one. Dude, I'm running for it. We doing it. You and me. You and me. You
want to be my VIP? I want to run against you. You and me. We'll be the two guys. Well, in this
room. Yeah. So next next next season. Next season, it'll be you, Vee. Me and me, bro. We can do it
this season. Fuck it. We're gonna start now. I make the rules. We're gonna be 35. All right.
So we're running for president of the podcast. Yeah. All right. So you versus me,
whoever gets the most votes wins. Yeah. How do we get the votes? The people. Okay.
I'll make a straw poll. Oh, no. You only make a straw poll?
How can you, on where? It's called straw poll. Oh, let's see if anyone goes there and clicks it.
Yeah. Okay. But it can't be us. What do you mean? We can't vote. We can vote for ourselves.
No, that's cheating. Technically, you're in the United Nations of there's no audience.
You can vote for yourself. If we voted for ourselves, it would just get one vote. Let's not
do that. Okay, fine. Let me make a straw poll and then I'll create a put the link in the
description below. There's no audience presidential election. Mike, Terry, and then we'll link it in
the description on the episodes until November and whoever has the most votes wins till November.
This November, because that's when the presidential election, then who's vice president?
Second place guy. Okay, cool. You know what that means? I just don't have to do that much for
lose. Well, none of us is doing anything more. I'll make a straw poll. It's purely a title.
It's a it's a bragging rights straw poll. Can you do that for free? Just sign is that like a
website? Yeah, just go look at it. Straw poll straw poll.
Why are they called straw? Why not just poll? Just what's the straw do nothing?
Why are they called straw? A straw poll straw vote or straw ballot is an ad hoc or unofficial
vote. Okay, it is used to show the popular opinion of on a certain matter. Okay, that's what we want
and can be used to help politicians know the majority opinion and help them decide what to
say in order to gain votes. Yeah, what should you say and lie about straw polls provide dialogue
among movements within large groups? Fantastic. Okay. Yeah, so anyone can do this. Yep, you just
go in here. So Terry's going to create the poll. Nope, you're already there. Mine's will create it.
Okay. You know, I don't block VPN uses. We care about privacy. Oh, one vote for IP address.
Yeah, that would be kind of scammy. If it was like a person who just like switched switched IP
addresses just constantly in their VPN, and then voted like for you 20,000 times and I lose because
of that. Yeah, kind of janky. Yeah. All right. One time IP IP one vote per IP address one vote per
unique code. No, because you can still bought that shit. One vote per browser sessions,
so multiple votes per person. One I would do IP one vote per IP address. Yes, we're doing it. So
if they want to change IP addresses, let them allow selection of multiple options. No,
require participants names. No, we want to be anonymous. We're pro privacy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
All right, here we go. So type your question here. Presidential candidates. No, what's the question?
Presidential candidates. No, it has to be a question. Who it doesn't have to be a question
which to be the president of there's no, no audience podcast. And then read our names.
Okay, multiple choice. You want multiple choice. We want one mic alphabetical me first and
my can Terry. That's only fair. Yeah. Okay. And then do another option. Guests. Oh, just guests.
This is I can't type it. What other just says other exit add one add option. Oh, there you go.
Other just right just right other guests guests. How about this?
Yeah, yeah. Guest or guests. This guest. Yeah. Okay. And then go to advanced settings.
So it also in there. Close the poll. Yeah, we're going to close the poll on the day after
the election election. Can you tell me what that is, please? I think it's the election November
eighth. It's like the third. No, it's like the eighth election date election day. It is
why just doesn't it tell me number eight. So it'd be the ninth.
2024. Am I correct? election day. Okay, here we go.
Yeah.
A fifth. Fifth.
I'm stupid. The fifth is the election. The United States will hold the presidential election on
the fifth. So we'll do the sixth. And then so we'll do that. And then
we want comments. Yeah, we'll take comments. Yeah, whatever. Doesn't matter. What do we want?
Option one. Option one. Option one. It's just giving you a theme.
No, look at the theme up there. Up the theme up there.
Dark Pro is to
Cyberpunk. Yeah, try that one. That's stupid. Console console.
I kind of like that.
I said we go with the green one. Yeah, you'll save it. It's safe. That's cool. It's safe.
Okay. And then now create the poll. If we're satisfied. Always public. Yeah, always public.
I'm for you. I have a lot of comments. Okay. And then that, oh, please enter a time, time, time.
Get into a time. Midnight. I'll do noon. Okay, cool. The day after the election.
Create it. No, no, no. Let's do, let's do the fifth 11 59 11. Yeah. So be 23 59.
If it does, no, it's not military. So then 11 11 59. PM. Thank you. I'm R worded. Okay.
Then create it. And then now you have a link and put that in there. Your admin rights are only
temporary. claim your permanent admin rights will not do that. No. Okay. And then we need to make
sure we save this link. The link is in the up there. This is the link right here. Yeah, it's
also the link in the fucking URL to so successfully copied. I'm going to paste it in my notes. So
we can put it in the notes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no.
This is exciting, Terry. Yeah, we just created a poll. We're poll boys. We're poll boys. And
we can't we're poll. Those are good sandwiches. But we can't use our influence outside of this
podcast. Yeah, you're not allowed to talk about this in real life. Only on the podcast,
only on the podcast. And if you cheat, you will be shamed because you'll know deep down that you
are a shit bag. Wait, isn't that all politicians? Yeah, but we're the exception. We're the exception.
We're better than that. Okay, we're better. Okay, so I have the link in the show notes that and
we'll put it on the next episode. Sounds good to me. So that'll be great. Straw poll used to be
a way a little bit different than what it is now. Yeah. It used to be like a notepad.
And then you just write into the notepad. But now it's like it looks what does it say by pricing?
Go to the pricing thing. Oh, what does it mean by pricing? What unlimited polls and
participants? It removes ads for you and your friends. What? Really? Are you going to email
invites? Pro? Oh, remove branding. Oh, external link to workspace seats. I don't know what that is.
Neither do I. Custom, you can do it like all cool. Anyways, don't look at us anymore.
Like make it look like your own thing, but it's not actually yours. Yeah.
Yeah. People just trying to get money for it. Okay, we got our own poll. Let me just double
check the link here. So I'm going to click on this shit. Does it look like it's still in my
I mean, it's still in my cookies. We'll see what I'm just going to do. So you posted in the notes.
Yeah. Yeah, here we go, Terry. Yeah, there it is. Like it ends in 68 days, the president of
There's No Audience podcast. Okay, so show results, it show results.
No one great. Okay, cool. So you can't vote. I can't vote. We can't talk about it unless we're
sitting in this room recording on the mic. Should we should we come with the should we like in the
next on the final day, like the day leading up to the fifth, we should check we should. So the
election is on the fifth, which is a Tuesday normally. Yeah. So should we should we write a
speech? So whoever wins should write a speech. We will look because our podcast comes out on
Tuesday. And so the next one will talk about the results and then I and the person who wins gets
a dude imagine, imagine this. Imagine that we talk about this. We we we that's a sign that no one's
listening if we if not a person this is a huge blow. This is a huge blow to us. No one's fucking
listening. Very self esteem is going to go way down if there's no vote. But here's the kicker. The
how we have this how we have this podcast, the title is literally in the title is There's No
Audience. So if people don't do anything with this, they're actually sticking it to the man,
because they're like, there's no audience. So there's no one actually fucking listening to this
thing. So we encourage them not to participate. Yeah. So this is the encouragement of not
participating. They can write comments. Oh, wait, you can just oh, wait, you could write a comment.
You're not voting, but you can write a comment. Like vote for me, bitch. No, no, no, no, no,
putting fingers on the scales. That's the rule. Well, and we have to plug it from every week
for the next whatever number we should we have. And we'll have it in the link on it. We need to sound
where we need to plug it in like a sound. Yeah, like this just in Mike, Mike takes the lead. Mike
Mike's presidential candidate for There's No Audience is now speaking on the podium today.
No, I thought you meant like an update every time like and Mike takes a narrow lead over a
contestant Terry in a hot contested battle. No, I thought it would be cool like it would be like,
you know how like they do this just in, you know, Terry is now talking on to the podium and to his
constituents or something like that. You think like every once in a while we have to give a
speech, a rally speech, a rally speech. Yeah. And then like every now and when you rally music.
So like, oh, what would be really funny rally music?
Like you get to choose the song that you want to play for like the rally music.
Then you can come out and see what you want. I'm saying that if you want to say I will make this
podcast great again, I will move Mike from the seat in front of me to the seat to my left so he
can use the main screen. I'll make him buy everything on this podcast. I will ban all fart clips.
I want to make sure that he does not use Instagram reels ever again.
Wait, can you do that ban fart clips? I think we should have some ground rules about what you're
not allowed to do. Are we trying to make this? I feel like we should be restricted to the
Constitution of the podcast and in the Constitution, the Constitution of the podcast,
we have freedom of speech in America. We have freedom of fart clips and this podcast.
So it's like that's a protected right that you always will have is the way the right to play
these down like the 10 amendments. Yeah, what are we have? We have to have a bill of rights.
We have to have that. There's no audience podcast bill. Okay, hold on. I'm writing the bill and
we'll end it'll be the bill rights will be 10 amendments will be our Constitution bill
of rights of our of our Constitution rights and that's the first 10 amendments.
So and we'll just have 10 total. Okay, so number one will be.
I would you could write it out like it's like there's no audience podcast shall make no law
infringing the right of the people to play fart clips or you know what I mean? You could write
it out like that. This is a free fucking world. You know what? On that note, I do. I do. I do.
I do. I shall do that. I'm ripping. Oh, man, I got some lingering stank or
Jesus. She got fat tits.
Holy crap. What am I doing? It's funny. It's funny that this like you're not even logged into that
YouTube thing. Oh, just like that's the random. That's just the random. Oh, this is a new super
sit them thing. Are these super sit and video? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
The way you make me feel the way you make me feel you really turn me on. Who is it?
Really turn me on and knock him off my feet. No, no.
Oh, that's that's a guy that like opens a lot of cases. This one you want? Yeah.
It's the newest one. This one you were referring to? That's the one I'm referring to. Yes. Who is
this? Oh, me pixel. It's a guy that has like opens like skins and shit. I've never heard of him.
Is he a pro? No. He's just a streamer. Big popular guy. Yeah. Never heard of him. You like it?
Yeah. I'll see what I it's only two. It's only three minutes. So it's me. We can yes. I'm not
kidding. Yes. I'm not kidding. Yes. So I'm coming day and night. It's terrific. Right. So, you know,
I'm in heaven. Yo, what's going on guys? Welcome to this new YouTube video.
Yeah, just open these cases. Wait, it's no gameplay. No, there's going to be gameplay probably.
the
may
watch half
That's good.
How old are you, my friend?
12.
What?
Let him cut.
Let him cut now.
Let him cut.
Let me cook.
Let him cut.
I was inspired to cut.
I'm going to have something weird too.
Don't worry.
It will work.
I'm not gonna be able to
get my skin and shit.
Nice. He really loves after
he keeps shooting so many
times. Look at this guy and you
have to write him from one to
ten.
What?
He's cute.
He gave handsome.
He's handsome.
Jesus Christ.
Let me diffuse.
I did all of that work, buddy.
And, and, and.
Yeah.
Give me a rabbit.
Come on.
I like his face.
Come on.
Jesus Christ.
Is he doing that?
What's the song, bro?
He's not as good as he once was.
Because that guy was not an
actual player.
I know.
They're better when it's actual
pros, I feel.
decides to load up, I guess.
Just reload this.
My studio browser extension.
Shit. Don't, don't say that, please.
Huh?
Don't say the name of that.
I'm sorry.
You want me to bleep that out?
You didn't say it right.
So it's okay.
But I think I did.
I know you didn't.
I didn't.
I promise you did not.
Are you sure?
I know you didn't.
I didn't correct you because I didn't want you to say it.
Like Olaf shit, like.
Like the old shit dude.
Look how many views.
Five years ago, the boost criminal.
Yeah.
Like.
Look at look at Pasha.
Pasha.
Or Pasha.
Sorry.
The Pasha.
Like Kenny.
Like all those are in the millions.
These recent ones are just trash.
They've been around longer.
So they have more time to get views.
Well, also back.
This is when this is back in the heyday of fucking.
It's me, man.
Uh.
Me. Superstiton.
My shit is laggiest fuck right now.
Right. This is what you want.
We don't know where it is.
Yep.
Boost criminal.
And then they got banned.
And then they got disqualified for using that, which was stupid.
I miss CS.
CS go dude.
The old.
Cool.
So the old videos and they jump and he puts the little face on
him like stew and all that's the fun shit.
Yeah.
So it's easy. Take too much time to fucking bring out now.
Used to used to be not that way.
It used to be hella fast.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah.
Thanks.
All right.
What you got for me, brother?
All right, brother.
Let's let a rip into a little rip.
Get it?
Cause most of my fucking content is farting.
Specific one.
Pacific.
Not a Pacific one.
No, I did.
Let a rip.
Instagram real.
Just pick one.
Just let it rip.
Let a rip, dude.
Are they all literally every single one is fart?
Mostly.
So mostly or every single one?
About 99% of them are.
So all of them.
Yes.
Fuck.
Wow.
So is that definitely not healthy?
What that is, I think it's just like the cloth of his seat.
It's driving that noise.
Or it could be like leather, leather seats.
Leather seats would give you more of a, maybe more of a,
one of those sounds, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, it could be.
I don't know that.
You want to hear it again?
I like how it starts around the way.
Were you?
I just thought I heard like a car on my stomach.
Is it in the video?
No, it was outside.
It was?
Yeah.
Not in the video.
No, I know.
That's why I took my headphones off.
It turned off now.
Yeah, it's good.
Can I just say?
Yeah.
I guess, so I guess he's doing it from this angle to get the phone to hear it while also
capturing his face.
Yeah.
It's just an odd angle.
Yeah, I get it.
There's no reaction to his face.
Yeah.
I know he's holding it pretty tight there.
His expression?
Yeah, yeah, his expression is not anything.
It's pretty tight.
All right, here we go.
Keep going.
Is it a dog?
Oh, dude, I was a dog.
I saw a dog.
Rip ass?
If any of the pops on my YouTube, maybe I'll pull it up for you.
This is all dog farts.
You played this before?
It's a compilation of farts.
I remember this one.
Oh, God.
Come on, go eat.
Come on.
Oh my God.
It's like a weed wacker.
I'm trying to shit.
It looks like weed wacker.
I played this one too.
Oh.
Why are you doing this?
I'm going to, I think I can find a video that I was watching.
It just popped up and I clicked on it.
I shouldn't have clicked on it.
Now it's forever in my history, which is good actually.
All right, now I can get data from every podcast directory and apps such as Apple Podcasts
and Spotify, providing a complete detailed view of your show's performance for more
in-depth metrics.
We click all of their report, visit our knowledge base.
I don't think it was too long.
You suck.
Okay, here you go.
Okay.
There's a cat over there.
I let it play because I knew the payoff was so good.
That dog.
It sounds like a shit over there.
That dog.
That dog 100% efficient.
They labeled the video biggest loudest wet dog fart sound ever.
I think that's a shit.
That's a shit.
That dog took a shit.
Oh.
Like there's no way that's not.
That's a shit.
Like it's wet too.
That's a shit.
It's pretty insane.
Can I just say that this thing right here with the Dalmatian was insanely, its butt gets
opened up.
Watch this.
It's like the butt's right in the camera.
It's just like a big whip of air.
Come on, go eat.
Come on.
This one's pretty funny.
I like this one.
Okay.
Oh, God.
Yeah, I just want to let you know about 90% of those are fart videos.
So everyone but one.
Yeah, the last one.
So the video that I played, that one, doesn't that remind you of that sound clip I have
with all the farts at the end where it's like shooting it in the toilet?
Yeah, a little bit.
Fart.
Oh, is this it?
Whole fart sounds.
Yeah, this is it.
Yeah.
This one.
Doesn't that sound a lot like a dog?
You know what it sounds like?
What's that video that?
It's gonna have that same wet sound to it.
I can smell it.
Are you sure that's just not you and your own nastiness?
No, I mean like in my mind I can smell what I think that would smell like if it were me
making the noise.
Okay, let's go away from that.
That's great.
That's like the one view that Drew showed us.
It was like, oh yeah, it's like farting on the roommate's door or something like that.
Hold on.
Okay, here we go.
Next one.
If there was a page dedicated to farting videos.
Okay.
Oh no, she's going for it.
It's not real.
Look up.
Can you pause this?
After you do this, look up.
King ass ripper.
Oh, I think it's the, no, no, it's a fart on my roommate's door.
Ha ha ha.
That's what it's called.
No, I don't, yeah, I don't know.
Oh shit.
That's it, right?
That's it, yeah.
Okay, here we go.
Jesus Christ.
That one makes me want to play that song again.
Like I'm shitting on the company's dime.
Oh yeah, we can play it.
She's holding on to vape.
Go to the toilet.
Is he in a classroom?
Yeah.
That's not real.
That's, that's a, yeah.
The ones in the stall, the girl and the boy.
That was a real.
Yeah, but I've, you know how I know Terry?
Because you've done it?
No, because like I hear them, I hear that all the time at work.
Like that's, I work like around a bunch of dudes.
You want to try one?
No.
Okay, you want me to put this video first or keep for the clips?
Oh, keep with my clips and then play that one last.
Oh, it's the people who record in the store or is it different?
It's a new guy.
Oh yeah.
Bless you, Charlie.
Bless you, child.
Is that what she said?
Right.
She said bless you, child.
I just want to let you know, these are not real fart sounds.
He's using that cup to make that farting noise, I think.
I just got a little thing and then he blows into it or something.
Yeah.
Bless you, Charlie.
Yeah.
I toot, I tooted on accident.
That's alright.
I do it all the time.
All the time.
He's already blows back into it.
It's making a noise in that thing.
Yeah, that's okay.
I do it all the time.
Yeah, shout out to that lady.
So that's an honest person right there.
That lady, she's like, hey man, it's all good.
We're human.
Yeah, we do all the time.
Oh, we got one of the black guys singing at the end there.
Top eight crazy farts.
And welcome back to your top charts of farts.
Top charts of farts.
I'm enjoying married life.
Oh, you missed it.
I'm getting lucky tonight.
Go ahead.
She goes, alright.
What are we going to do later?
Hey, what's up?
Why are you like this?
To just sack, to have to bug the people fart in this.
This is such beautiful humanity right here.
Like this is an example of our higher being.
So like this is beautiful.
Why are you like this is humanity right here in an unshow.
This is why we are beautiful people.
Oh, no.
I just want to say that one is excellent.
That was so good.
We're in the kids face.
His lap.
I got a baby here.
Baby's birthday.
Maybe.
Maybe the hair looks like mine.
This is the same guy.
I think it's a wonderful grandma.
Why does he shake his leg like that's weird?
Don't want to step on the hose here.
Sorry.
Oh, no.
That's so insane.
That is so insane.
Tell them what happened.
Oh my God.
Go for it.
So it's like a.
Let me start a big one.
It's a breather.
Yeah, it's a guy at his grandma's house and he's like saying,
I'm going to go get him.
And she's got like oxygen tubes on her nose like so it helped her breathe.
And the tubes are kind of long and they go a little bit farther away to like the machine.
And he farts right in front of the intake on the machine.
And so then it shoots the fart smell right into her nose from like down the hallway.
It's just a tiny little delay.
And then she realizes it.
The fart line is just him.
I think he's called the fart line.
I think it's just him.
The fart land.
Yeah.
Another song from weird bars.
Yes.
The rise guy.
I think his name is rise.
Hell yeah.
I don't see how you can hate from outside of the club.
Can't even get in.
But I didn't have no money to spend up again.
So I just went home to binge watch friends.
Let go.
Let's go.
I'm feeling on my butt because the dog put his teeth in my cheeks and my cheeks in my cheeks.
I was at your grandma house.
Look at the door window.
Yep.
I was trying to get a sneak peek.
I wear blazers under tank tops.
Whoa.
I shot a brick trying to shoot a bank shot.
I make a fart noise when they squat.
And a hootie.
Not a maybop.
All you gotta know is when I gotta go, then I gotta go.
Because the diarrhea is gonna flow.
It'd be sticking to my pants.
I'm gonna be washing my hands when I wipe.
Got my hands and get face-lighting.
Yeah man.
I ran for a day.
They be trying to beat me up.
She was 500 pounds.
I kissed a giraffe said fuck her up, pull up to the club and dump her truck.
I'm in your house on your couch.
I scare my neighbors.
I'm in your house on your couch.
Yeah.
I'm sleeping like a motherfucker.
Hell yeah.
This guy actually now that I think about it reminds me a lot of the vibe of that other shit we found.
Oh, obscured vinyls?
Yeah.
Like where they'd make a hella fucking vulgar lyrics.
Like I'm shitin' on the company's dime.
Like that was-
Did you play that when you went to the bathroom?
When you were at your job?
No.
You should.
Why?
Because that's what you're doing.
Wanna see what James said?
Yeah I do.
What did you say about the song?
Well, I'll show you.
Oh, I'm absolutely-
Ow, I just hit myself with a nut.
This is what it is right here.
I sent him the track right here and this is what he said.
Last week, when I sent it to him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So after he sent it to him, he goes,
laugh my ass off.
That's why I talk about Thursday nights so I can have a nice long one on Friday.
That's what he said.
Hell yeah.
I wonder if he listened to any other songs.
I told him to.
I don't know if he did or not.
Yeah, I see there's like gum drops in that.
Yeah, I'm good, thanks.
Appreciate it though.
Pretty good.
Romance door.
Did you see it?
Oh, God.
This is this is juice video on YouTube.
I mean, it's it's tremendous.
Oh, it's not even that popular.
Like it's really not.
It's not the original one.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's pretty great.
Yeah.
I know it's just a problem.
I'll just delete it from my history.
I don't know does a.
Does YouTube I don't think YouTube changes your algorithm on
recommended videos based on.
They do it based on your watch history.
Not based on your actual history.
So like if you want to like get rid of something you have to in
your recommended you have to be like this and go.
You don't recommend channel.
You're not interested.
That's how you change the like if you do like watch it a couple
more times you'll get some far videos.
Yeah, I know.
Whoa.
Tactical rabbi two hours ago.
Red Bull slam Sergio Perez piazzare broken rib.
What do you do?
I didn't hear about this.
What did Sergio Perez do?
Nothing.
Because he sucks one second slower.
Um.
What's up?
I'm saying.
All right guys.
Welcome to Florida.
One news two weeks to the day until the Dutch gone pre rebel of
decide one two weeks from now.
Hell yeah.
Sergio Perez will stay after the summer break, but it doesn't
sound like they will like convinced it's actually the right
decision.
And the next week.
We'll be right back.
Make a prompt for the picture, please.
What should we do?
What does it say?
You want title?
Yeah, what's the title?
It's in there.
We're banging up Terry's nuts.
What did I say?
Oh no, Terry acts Terry's nuts.
Randomly select my balls.
Just put like a TSA line.
TSA line touching touching my balls. Yeah, look TSA line someone's touching my balls
No, we don't want people member that does bad people TSA line at the airport with
Scanning machines or something like that while touching no while touching balls no Terry
Yeah, while touching balls TSA line at the air while touching balls TSA line while touching balls
Yes, I'm the airport please
With ball touching
Yeah, ball touching. Okay, let's do it. It gets us
Thanks for stopping and if these numbers are actually true surely there's no way that he can keep I kind of just say something I
I think he's saying good because I have a Netflix
You know because we were talking about it for a shot in Joe Brogan
I was I started the newest season of Dr. Survived just I hadn't watched it
Yeah, and it's really like not that entertaining once you like actually watch it live during the season
It's really like the way they try to spin like the stupid storylines is like dumb. Yeah. Yeah, okay
He's saying he's saying that Red Bulls one second slower
No, I think he's saying
Sergio is one second slower than Max. I don't know that's what they're saying
Subscribe if you're new as always firstly on the Audi side a bit of driving market update here really Nicole Gumburg
Of course is signed with Salba. They're gonna become Audi and he basically says like they signed me over guys with wins
Guys with better stats that said something about my performance. We're telling you's fair
And then we don't really know who that is actually going to be no clear favorite is the current understanding for who is teammate
Who's Gabriel Bortoletto?
Including I would say Paris is not entirely impossible if I think Paris goes to that
Red Bull, you know, you've got I think Paris goes and then they bring up realistically the only one
I should go to Audi Salba and that might even make a bit of sense
I don't necessarily like it, but they might at least consider the possibility if Paris was to go now
The issue for Paris is possibly if they don't get rid of him now, but instead they get rid of
They were commenting at Lando and Oscar on their plans for the summer break
And it was pretty interesting to hear Oscar say that I've been slightly broken for the last few weeks
I nobody really know what he meant at the time and this video was up
You didn't get into any car accidents
However today he said the following first part of the season done first gone pre-victory first broken bone
Rib is enjoying the break now. This was not known about
Oh, no
Piazzari put this out and we can actually see the full image right here Oscar Piazzari date that this was taken on the 8th of July
So this is UK way around so for those in the US because Oscar's birthday is the 6th of April rather than the 4th of June
So this is done as 6th of the month and then therefore this will be 8th of the month
So this was not on the 7th of August as in a couple of days ago
This was actually last month on the 8th of July if I'm understanding correctly
Damn, so you drove through the pain driving with a broken rib? What a baller
When did he win what race did he win again? Mm-hmm
Hungry mm-hmm. You want hungry? Yes. Did he have this a hungry? That'd be crazy
Yeah, the rib on the left-hand side so pretty remarkable stuff here and
There's been you know people wondering why because that was two weeks before his first Grand Prix win in Hungary
That's you know because as we say he won. Well, you didn't any accidents or anything
I wonder if it was like he was playing a sport or something or like training maybe and hurt himself training or fell
Okay, let's do the Paris. I want to hear the Paris and
Figure out the problems later that doesn't work for most drivers even drivers like Charlotte Claire
They're like the car to be on the nose and having you know oversteer rather than understeer even you know
Alex Albon is another driver who's similar ish
But the Stappen is to an extreme level and that means that when you design a car for the Stappen in the Stappen's
Prevences because he's the number one driver it makes things challenging for his well compatriots in the car
Especially for someone that actually doesn't have that style in the first place. So this is why
Wachey is talking about the drivability of the car and the upgrades have hurt Paris to some degree
But obviously it's not just about the car. It's also about the performance of the driver in the car
So Paul Monahan we talked about some of his quotes yesterday wasn't like for something like some more of a pointy nose
Because he can solve all the problems and this type of stuff. He was also commenting on max's tone
Right, let's not forget what happened during the Hungarian Grand Prix
And he says max has said a pretty high bar for himself as well as us last year and races this year
He's reached a level that others have thus far yet to match and as such if he feels like we are not attaining that high bar
We can expect those type of comments
I don't have a strong view on how he presents it to us whether the tone is pleasant or unpleasant
Look at it as if he is sensing that we are not getting the most out of ourselves as a team
If he didn't say anything would it push us to do anything differently? Maybe maybe not
So his point is that what Verstappen is saying is true and fair the way he says it is a matter for debate
But um, it's not like he's talking about Paris like you know max
The average will show up as a number eventually he says so obviously saying that Paris is pretty good
But he's no Verstappen and talking about how the car is competitive, but other cars have called top exception. See I told you Terry
What said no people a TSA line is going to get us people
That's actually pretty cool. Look at the people's faces
This guy over here is creepy as shit this guy has no face
This person has a head that's all fucked up
No, that's a parrot can we use this why not? It's like creeping anybody out. Okay, most people are just going to see it as a TSA line
Fair point. Okay
we'll do
To etc this though was the interesting part saying how Verstappen is half a tenth per corner faster
Interesting way to analyze right because we often talk about lap time delta right?
We talk about this driver is you know two tenths of lap or three tenths of lap faster than their kind of teammate as it were
But some laps are longer than others right and this is why a two tenth gap around Austria
Is probably near enough equivalent to like you know a three and a half four tenth gap around something like spa
Because it's a much longer track now to be fair some of the track is a straight and on a straight
You just put your foot down right there's no real skill
There's always a bit of skill in fast corners because let's say you're flat around a corner
I think that's what they're saying was that that Paris is a second behind max
Uh on average or something
I think that's the whole title. I'm having some like
So uh planet f1 is stating there's there there's like predicting every move. They're just predicting f1 drivers next move
Obviously, it's not like it could happen, but they're saying for like uh
McLaren
Lando Norris will probably move to Red Bull
And then oscar might leave the sport
Right
I don't know why
Who the fuck is saying this?
Uh planet f1
Who the fuck is that?
Uh website
They seem like they're not very
They're renowned but
Why they seem like they're saying stupid dumb shit
Yeah, well, they're just saying like
This is obviously not gonna happen
All things are good, blah blah blah career look if he stays for a decade onwards that
May be a move to a team on the grid. They're just saying like he might leave the sport
He might not be
Piazzaro would be a one team man before leaving the sport
So he might just stay with them. Oh, these are just like predictions. This is that's stupid and then uh
Lewis will leave he'll retire if the
Ferrari's f1 car is not competitive in 2026
Uh, Russell will probably move to Williams
After he ended at the end of his career at the end of his career
First happen says that he will move to another series or Mercedes if red bulls uncompetitive in 2026
Paris were part of retire
Uh, Ricardo or power is higher. So no to my move to uh, Aston Martin after 2026
Alex albon will go to Alpine
Ugh
And Logan sergeant will move to a different series. That's certain. Yeah
Sargeants leaving at the end of the year because they already announced their lineup Williams. Yeah
I'm surprised that signs signed with Williams
Unless he unless he knows something that we don't know. No, this is only fucking choice
He didn't want to he can go to he could have gone to Audi
Okay, so what's worse than Audi nothing so Williams is better than Audi
Well, well, what does the driver standing say?
right
The the drivers uh, the constructor standing
Alpine Audi is last Terry. They have no points
True. Oh my bad. Yeah, you're right. Sorry
That's why
McLaren is gonna be fucking
My McLaren is gonna get the constructors
Norse is only
78 points behind max
This is not good for me. He's not gonna win the driver. So who? Lando
He's not good enough
Lando. Yeah, if the Mercedes if the uh, if the McLaren car keeps the pace while it's doing now
That he could definitely win it
No, he can't how he sucks
Lando. Yeah, he does not suck Terry
The McLaren is a better car than the Red Bull and he still is placing behind max the last couple races
He's not gonna catch him if he keeps placing behind him
I don't know about that dude. He finished the first half of the season like
After max had shitty races. He's still finished behind max. You're never gonna win that way. He beat he beat max in Hungary
But not in spa and max had to start 11th
If you can't beat max when he starts 11th, you're not gonna win the world championship
I think he had something on like when he went to the gravel
Who who drove the car into the gravel Lando?
You're never gonna win if you do shit like that. That's my point. You're right. He's not a fucking
Championship caliber guy it seems actually right here. It says
Lando's pin points three f1 20 f12 24 regrets
He would change in the first step in title battle letting oscar win lando reflects
Uh, let's see
Uh, he's made in Miami
Uh, he's made in win. What about it? Hold on. He regrets that
Uh, mclaren dominance f1 20 i received so max red bull mclaren and norris of both christs as for losing a potential victories with
Dravers poor start from pole position in spain considered the most glaring miss opportunity
However, norris has highlighted the races in canada britain. Hungry are ones he would like to
Back like to go back in time to change
So
So he sucks at starting a race
So if you want to be a world champion, you got to be better at starting races more consistent. It's not complicated. She folks
simple shit
This day one shit
Download thank you
For fuck sakes perfect sakes
Oh, there's more it's more predictions pierre gas that goes to haas
uh
Estaban alkan moves to a different estaban estaban alkan moves to a different sport. Uh, he no he went to haas. Yeah
He went to haas. Yeah, but after haas. What is haas haas
Who's the brisers? Who's the racers?
Who's it haas and who else? I mean, uh, fucking estaban. It's
Oh bareman. It's bareman all over that's right. That's right
Stroll who doesn't who how about this who doesn't have a team
Set for next year yet. I think
Mercedes we don't know their second. Nobody knows. I think antena is going to
um
Some Mercedes we don't have it confirmed. It's gonna be george and antena. They probably sober. It's not confirmed
No one knows going there. Who else would they're thinking that it might be both
Uh, valteri still staying with uh, but it's just those two everyone else is confirmed
Alpine Alpine hasn't confirmed the second seat not gas gas in somebody else. Well, the thing and it might be that
Uh
Oh gack doing yeah, yeah, that's right. No, I think he did confirm maybe I think I saw confirmation. Yeah, I don't know
Does it does it give you the uh
Oh, it doesn't tell you like who's who's in the next spots. Yeah, rb is the same rb is the same not
Williams is the same. Well, I mean, we know
Well, it's not the same
Williams we know williams is for are we know
uh
Albon and science as the mark the same
So it's just celebrate and Mercedes. It's not locked and
nv carb
No, we know for rb
Let's speak carb is rb. Yeah, we know we don't know that yet because they confirmed it. They confirmed the same the same
officially
Yeah, you know what else is official terry my dick pairs is staying for the second half of season officially
I'll believe when I see it. I think he gets canned. I hope he gets canned
That's just my
assumption. I like pairs, but he's ever since
Ever since last year when he started off really well, and then shit the bed and then started shitting the bed after spa
He got second last year, didn't he? Yeah, but he started shitting the bed after spa and barely won it barely won it behind
uh
Was it maxi boy?
Oh, no what i'm saying as in like hamilton. Yeah the claire who is third. I can't remember
What outie f1 linked with shook f1 2025 move an indy card what shook what shook
Shock sorry outie f1 linked with shock f1 2025 move from an indy car driver mid mclaren lawsuit
Uh-oh, what's happening?
Uh-huh
It's happening. What's happening? What's happening though? Um, it seems former mclaren man alex
polu
Hey alex polu. Yeah, um is on outie f1 radar
Science decision to move the wind came with a huge blow to outie after number number two target estaban
Khan decided also overlooked the german manufacturer to move from alpinta ferrari's
Customer haas for next season outie has announced significant high-level management changes over the recent weeks
with former ferrari team principal
I forgot how to pronounce his name matia banati matia matia banato. Yeah
Uh hired to the dual role of chief operating and chief technical officer banato is appointed as a replacement from a former mclaren boss
uh
Andres salda salda salda saldi whatever whatever but it doesn't matter. Um
I had something in my head that was about f1, but I forgot
It was not important, but
Kind of important not really
I'm trying to think if
I'm trying to think of like anything. What do I need to do again to win? The constructors?
What did we pick mclaren and ms ades?
Yeah, mclaren and ms ades
If you want to look at him, I'm I'm not I'm not in good shape anymore
Honestly
I'm in not good shape
um really if um
If Mercedes can get up to p3 and the constructors I'm I'm a fucking contender and they're actually turning it on
Uh, they have to surpass ferrari though Alpine Alpine. I don't know how things are going away from their standalone engine and they're going to uh
I'm a Mercedes engine next year. I heard
Yeah, if Mercedes can get to p3
Because mclaren is going to be p2 or p1
But I write for p1 or p2 ferrari we both did
One two if mercedes gets p3. I think I win merc sadies. I think I win if Mercedes can get to p3
Because mclaren is not going to be a factor. They're going to be p1 or p2 and neither of us picked that for them
It's going to be a spice. Oh, no. Well, here's the thing is it's like if
What you going to do terry?
You nervous a little bit. Yeah
I'm a little bit nervous. It's the last race Abu Dhabi still this year
Abu Dhabi. Uh-huh. So the last race
Yeah, I think it's december or something. Yeah, it goes
Early december. Vegas then vegas then
No, it's vegas and cutter and then then yeah, I'm gonna call it dobby for short
Dabi the house itself. It's never it's netherlands then monza then azure by john
then singapore then
Uh kota
And I forgot myself kota. Can I just say something? Yeah, I'm really excited to watch the kota race
From my house now that we've been there. I'm really excited to do that and then mexico and then uh
brazil
Yeah, and then um vegas
brazil, yeah, and then um vegas
cutter
dobby dobby
When is uh
Uh austin
Yeah, october. Yeah, that's right. October. Oh man. It's always out
Yeah, i'm really excited to watch that that race now
I'll be able to like watch and like see all like oh look at that place. You got to watch it live terry
You can't go to frisbee that day
I can't no you got to like watch it bro. I gotta watch it live because what time is it? It's in the afternoon. I think it's uh
Let's see. What time did it start? It's at 2 30. No, it was like
The noon yeah, because it started at 2. It's at noon the race is at noon. Yeah our time. Yeah, so we gotta
It's a technically I could go to so we we got it. We'll just record earlier and then watch it
You gotta watch man. You gotta watch fucking america bro america
I mean are you a patriot or what? Yeah, i'm you running for president in this podcast or fucking what terry america america
Fuck yeah
Um, but yeah, I'll watch it and then I'll go to frisbee after I'll just be a little bit late
Yeah, too. Yeah, yeah, it's fucking kota gotta be nostalgic. It's kota dude. Yeah, it's fucking kota, man
It's like the fucking cantaloupe wine mixer
What the fucking day yeah
Yeah
What's up to america fuck yeah
You're going to sit and suck on my cock
Fuck yeah, what you're gonna do when we come for you now
It's the dream that we all share
It's the whole world tomorrow
Fuck yeah
Hell yeah america
All right, you got anything else to say
Not really. Um, you gotta edit this picture of fucking d gendarmes on tsa line. Um, what I would say is uh, what I would say is
Uh, as you're uh acting president as your favorite presidential candidate as your presidential candidate of there's no audience. Fuck him vote for me. Um
Excuse me sir. I'm talking you can go fuck yourself. Excuse me. Excuse me
Yeah
My running point is running point is
Fucking stupid. Um, I'm allowed. I want to press the buttons whenever I want to I'm gonna ban the buttons and then vote for me
The buttons will be banned and I want to put the buttons. Fuck him. I'm gonna sir. I am talking shut the fuck up. That's a great show title
Fuck the buttons
And then uh, how how I would use the buttons is I would
100
Anytime I want to press them and then he has to say god damn it every you know, he always says god damn it
Um, I think the buttons are the greatest thing invented in this show
Um, what do you think about that? Yeah, I think so too. So
And then after after I win this is what I'm gonna do to him with my laser gun
Every time and I don't give a fuck and then Mike's gonna go
Yes, and that's what he wants. He wants it in his butt, right? Yes, exactly. All right folks
And then and then I'm gonna tell him I'm gonna ask him. I'm like, shut what that thing do and then he's gonna tell me
Yeah, I'll show you my wit bowl. I'm gonna go
Best thing to ever happen to the internet. See, you know what I'm saying
You could like do a podcast by yourself just talking and answering with the buttons
I know it'd be great and then Mike's you know, he's gonna go. Oh, there's no winning
We don't like to foster a competitive atmosphere, but we laugh a lot now everyone hug and share a secret
We're about to have a competitive atmosphere. It's absolutely true
All right, that's it randomly select my balls. That's the show title folks
Because we got to go along with the picture. Yeah, exactly. Uh
Last commentary for a rip for a wrap for rip wrap. Oh check the straw poll vote for us. It'll be in the comments
Please you have
Like 86 days. Yeah, yeah, yeah, shout out. Uh shout out to us. Okay. Um last words
What is it you get paid to do exactly?
Do you want to end on that?
No, I mean I gotta take a shit. Yeah, all right, let's go. What is it you get paid to do exactly?